Howard: Yeah, I thought about renting this apartment, but I'm really more of a downtown loft kind of guy.
Alicia: Cool. So are you in a loft now?
Howard: Oh, actually I'm, uh, living with a woman in Altadena. Purely platonic, she's also my maid.
Alicia: Sounds like a sweet deal.
Howard: I won't lie, it's pretty dope.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Wolowitz: Penny, let me take this opportunity to point out that you are looking particularly ravishing today.
Penny: Not with a thousand condoms, Howard.
Wolowitz: So there is a number.

Penny: Leonard, and Howard, and Raj, they aren't like other guys. They're special.
Alicia: Okay, they're special, and?
Penny: Well let's see how can I explain this. Um. They don't know how to use their shields.
Alicia: Shields?
Penny: Yeah. You know like in Star Trek and you're in battle, and you raise the shields.
*Realizing what she said* Where the hell did that come from?

Howard: Enough with the guilt, ma. We'll still see each other. I'll come over every night and have dinner with you.
Mrs. Wolowitz The hell you will! What am I running here, a fancy restaurant? Does this look like the Olive Garden?