Big Bang Theory Quote 9287
Bernadette: What do you want?
Sheldon: I just wish I could make Howard feel as angry as I'm feeling.
Bernadette: Well, maybe you could do something he likes and make him jealous.
Sheldon: Like what?
Bernadette: Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?
Bernadette: Chores. He likes chores.
Sheldon: Ooh. What kind of chores?
Bernadette: Well, you could change the batteries in the smoke detectors. That would drive him crazy.
Sheldon: That's great. Oh, he'll be so mad smoke will be coming out of his ears. And then the smoke detectors will detect it.
Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
'The Collaboration Contamination' Quotes
Quote from Penny
Penny: No, I've been reading Bernadette's parenting book. It's like the answer key to the Sheldon test.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: It's fine, I've been driving him for years. What's one more day?
Sheldon: Oh, and I've got a new car game we can play. It's called "What siren am I?"
Quote from Amy
Howard: Amy, your lab is amazing. A C-arm fluoroscope, a cranial ultrasound, (gasps), and look at that coffee maker!
Amy: I know. On our expense report, I listed it as "Eduardo", my Colombian lab assistant.