Howard: Hey, look at me I'm a fancy Indian man! We invented pajamas! (About what Raj said to Sheldon's sister.)

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Rajesh: Missy. Do you enjoy pajamas?
Missy: I guess.
Rajesh: Yes, well, we Indians invented them. You're welcome.
Howard: Yeah, well my people invented circumcision. You're welcome.

Howard: Well, she's free to examine my briefs.
Leonard: Howard!
Howard: I know! I'm disgusting. I should be punished. By her. Oh, look I did it again.

Sheldon: Eat this slice of cheese without farting and you can sleep with my sister.