Howard: I guess it was pretty smart using our quantum technology as the basis for a communication system.
Leonard: Be even better if he swapped out the helium for xenon.
Howard: Ooh. So instead of having to keep it at negative 271 degrees, you'd only have to keep it at negative 108. It would be way more efficient.
Leonard: And xenon has a bigger nucleus, so coherence would make it an easier signal to see.
Howard: You're brilliant!
Leonard: We should tell Sheldon.
Howard: You're an idiot! We don't tell Sheldon. We go to the military behind his back and we screw him like he screwed us.
Leonard: All right, you're right, you're right, we don't need him. We can do this all on our own.
Howard: Do you think you can do the math?
Leonard: No. But if someone else does it, I can double check the crap out of it.

Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Sheldon: Screwed?
Leonard: There you go.

Leonard: Penny, as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don't think I'll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know maybe I don't need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.

Sheldon: This song is never going to stop. Have you ever dealt with something so relentlessly irritating?
Leonard: That's a trick question, right?

Howard: Why would the military want Sheldon?
Leonard: I don't know. Target practice?

Barry Kripke: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You didn't tell me we were doing this just to stick it to Sheldon.
Leonard: Well-
Barry Kripke: I messing with you. This sundae just got a cherry on top!

Sheldon: And worse than that, Edison filmed the first on-screen kiss, so he's basically a pornographer. Although every time I put that in Wikipedia, someone takes it out.