Leonard: She's right. Maybe we're all a bunch of Teslas after all.
Amy: Didn't Tesla die penniless, forgotten and insane?
Howard: (sighs) You may have a point about her social skills.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Howard: Why would the military want Sheldon?
Leonard: I don't know. Target practice?

Sheldon: And worse than that, Edison filmed the first on-screen kiss, so he's basically a pornographer. Although every time I put that in Wikipedia, someone takes it out.

Barry Kripke: Whoa, whoa, whoa. You didn't tell me we were doing this just to stick it to Sheldon.
Leonard: Well-
Barry Kripke: I messing with you. This sundae just got a cherry on top!