Sheldon: So what exactly do you want us to do?
Howard: I need you and Raj to help me get the Rover out of the ditch, and I need you to get Stephanie out before somebody notices she's here. She doesn't exactly have clearance.
Sheldon: Really? They don't let strange women from honky-tonks come in and play with $200million government projects on distant planets?

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Mrs. Wolowitz Tell her we're going to the Olive Garden. I have a coupon from the paper.
Howard: We're not going to the Olive Garden, ma!
Mrs. Wolowitz Oh, Mr. Big Shot with his Red Lobster.

Stephanie: So, how was your day?
Leonard: You know, I'm a physicist, I thought about stuff.
Stephanie: That's it?
Leonard: I wrote some of it down.