Big Bang Theory Quote 9942
Sheldon: I sense judgment on your part.
Leonard: No, no. Maybe a little.
Sheldon: May I suggest that your criticism is based on jealousy.
Leonard: Jealousy? What do I have to be jealous of?
Sheldon: I have a functioning and satisfying relationship with a female. You have none.
Leonard: Oh, right. That.
Sheldon: Jealousy is an ugly green-eyed monster, not unlike the Hulk, who, by the way, also has a girlfriend. In this iteration, Jennifer Connelly, whom you may recall as the girlfriend of Russell Crowe in A Beautiful Mind, a feel-good romp if there ever was one.
Leonard: I'm not jealous.
Sheldon: Hurgh! Leonard not jealous.
Quote from the episode The Jiminy Conjecture
Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.
Quote from the episode The Lizard-Spock Expansion
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
Quote from the episode The Gorilla Experiment
Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
'The Desperation Emanation' Quotes
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: What would you be if you were attached to another object by an inclined plane, wrapped helically around an axis?
Leonard: There you go.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy's Mom: It's nice to meet you too Sheldon, I honestly didn't believe Amy when she told me she had a boyfriend.
Sheldon: I assure you, I am quite real and I'm having regular intercourse with your daughter.
Amy's Mom: What?
Sheldon: Oh yes, We're like wild animals in heat. It's a wonder neither of us has been hurt!
Amy's Mom: Amy? What is he saying?
Amy: You wanted me to have a boyfriend, mother, well here he is! Have to sign off now. My hunger for Sheldon is stirring in my loins.
Sheldon: Oh yes. It's time for me to make love to your daughter's vagina.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: We no longer live at 2311 Los Robles, we live at 311 Los Robles. *Holds up number 2 fixture*
Leonard: You changed the address on the building? What about mail?
Sheldon: No worries, I explained our predicament to our letter carrier. He was sympathetic, his exact words were "Got your back Jack. Bitches be crazy!"