Penny: So, what is all that stuff?
Amy: This is a portable electroencephalogram. I'm doing research on emotions and brain activity. So when you start crying, I can see which region of the brain is activated. Then I'm going to stimulate the analogous area in the brain of a rhesus monkey and see if he cries. Cool, huh?

Sheldon: And so, instead of bowing to pressure, and going to that pointless soire, I stayed right here and did a load of whites.
Amy: (On webcam) Well, normally I respect your macho rebellious attitude toward The Man, but, in this case, I think you'vee made a foolish mistake.

Amy: Sheldon, like it or not, until you manage to upload your intelligence into a self-sustaining orbiting satellite, equipped with high-speed Internet and a cloaking device, you will be dependent on other members of the human race.
Sheldon: That's it. Prepare to be minimized.
Amy: I'm not finished. All scientists have to fund-raise, Sheldon. How do you think I paid for my lab?
I went to Saudi Arabia and met with a prince who had an interest in neurobiology.
Sheldon: Your lab is funded by some Middle-Eastern dilettante?
Amy: Technically, Faisal is my fiance. But I do have a state-of-the-art two-photon microscope and a place to stay in Riyadh for the winter.
Sheldon: Well, that explains those puzzling camel race photos on your Facebook page.

Amy: Travel makes me constipated so I am the ideal hotel roommate.

Penny: You know, it is going to be difficult, but I'm going to cancel my plans so I can do this for my bestie.
Amy: Please don't touch my breasts.
Penny: I- I wasn't going to.
Amy: All right. I just want to establish boundaries.

Amy: So, girl talk?
Penny: Um, sure. What do you- what do you got in mind?
Amy: Do you subscribe to the Freudian theory of penis envy?
Penny: Um, I never really thought about it. Why?
Amy: Sometimes I think it might be nice to have one.
Penny: Really?
Amy: Not for sex, for convenience. You can't deny that, by comparison, our internal plumbing is extremely high maintenance.
Penny: Again, I've never given it much thought.
Amy: We have time now. Think about it.

Bernadette: Thanks. I'll sleep on the floor.
Amy: Not necessary. Penny and I are perfectly comfortable sharing a bed.
Penny: We are?
Amy: Of course, we're best friends.
Penny: Oh, right, right, the blog.
Amy: Word of warning, though. I'm prone to night terrors, so if I wake up kicking and screaming, don't panic. Just pin me down and stroke my hair, and I'll be fine.

Amy: Are we talking about women wanting penises? Because I'd like to weigh in.

Amy: I'm suddenly feeling flushed. My heart rate is elevated, my palms are clammy, my mouth is dry. In addition, I keep involuntarily saying hoo.
Penny: Oh, we know what's causing that, don't we?
Amy: It's no mystery. I obviously have the flu coupled with sudden-onset Tourette's syndrome.

Amy: If you die and donate your body to science, I promise to slice your brain like Canadian bacon.

Amy: Excuse me, Zack? I am Amy Farrah Fowler. We met the other night. I have spent my life in pursuit of pure knowledge. Until I met you, my decisions were founded in logic and reason. And yet here I stand before you, one hundred and thirty pounds of raging estrogen, longing to grab hold of your gluteus maximus and make Shakespeare's metaphorical beast with two backs.
Zack: My gluteus what?
Amy: On the other hand, as I look at the blank, ape-like expression on your face, I have decided to adopt the Vulcan practice of Kolinar. Goodbye, Zack.

Penny: You know Amy, when we say we're having girl talk, it doesn't mean that we just have to talk about our ladyparts.
Amy: That's a shame. I had a real zinger about my tilted uterus.

Amy: I find the notion of romantic love an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.

Amy: From a neurobiological standpoint, Leonard, you may be alone because your psychological state is causing an actual pheromone-based stink of desperation.

Amy: That was rude.
Sheldon: He does it all the time. He's a cornucopia of social awkwardness.
Amy: Cornucopia. What a mellifluous word.
Sheldon: Let's make that our word of the day.
Amy: Agreed. And we'll use mellifluous tomorrow.