Amy: Thanks to you, I just made a rhesus monkey cry like a disgraced televangelist.

Amy: It's not for us to judge. We're just here to provide comfort and support while you come to grips with what a despicable thing you've done.

Amy: I don't need your medicine. I'm not really sick. I got better two days ago.
Bernadette: I don't understand.
Amy: It's been so nice having Sheldon take care of me, I just wanted that to last longer.
Bernadette: You should tell him.
Amy: I know.
Sheldon: (From the other room) Amy! Are you strong enough to bathe yourself, or do you need my help?
Amy: I'll tell him tomorrow. Mama needs a bath.

Amy: Sheldon, I'm going to ask you something, and Id like you to keep an open mind. Sheldon: Always.
Amy: At this moment, I find myself craving human intimacy and physical contact.
Sheldon: Oh, boy. You know ours is a relationship of the mind.
Amy: Proposal, one wild night of torrid lovemaking that soothes my soul and inflames my loins.
Sheldon: Counterproposal, I will gently stroke your head and repeat "Aww, who's a good Amy?"
Amy: How about this? French kissing, seven minutes in heaven culminating in second base.
Sheldon: Neck massage, then you get me that beverage.
Amy: We cuddle. Final offer.
Sheldon: Very well. Oh, boy.

Raj: Okay, I have a request to make.
Amy: And now he can talk. I want to cut open your brain and see what the heck is going on in there.

Amy: There's not a hair on my body I wouldn't let this woman trim.

Amy: Now Sheldon, I know you're a left handed monkey wrench but you seriously have a mortal enemy
Sheldon: Yes, in fact I have 61. Would you like to see the list?

Amy: You're like a sexy toddler.
Sheldon: I don't know how to process that.

Amy: Sheldon, sometimes you forget, I'm a lady. And, with that comes an estrogen- fueled need to page through thick glossy magazines that make me hate my body.

Sheldon: (To Leonard & Penny) You can stop trying to make this about our relationship.
Amy: Which is stronger than ever.
Sheldon: Which is stronger than ever!

(Amy & Sheldon are awkwardly cuddling.)
Amy: I'm just saying, second base is right there.

Penny: Well, we're your best friends. Give us one more detail and we promise we'll leave you alone.
Amy: Fine. Umm ... he's British.
(Penny and Bernadette squeal)
Amy: All right, that is a juicy one.

Amy: I love Little House. It made me want to live on a farm so much I tried to milk my cat. That tangy bowl of Cheerios was not worth the stitches.

Penny: You guys are going out two nights in a row?
Sheldon: I missed a number of date nights while I was on my train trip, and I'm contractually obligated to make them up under the terms of the relationship agreement.
Penny: That's so hot.
Amy: It's better than hot, it's binding!

Amy: Then I met Sheldon and look at where we are now.
Raj: You've kissed like once in three years.
Amy: That's true. Do whatever you want.