Amy: Seriously, is that tape? Like, how are they staying up like that?

Bernadette: It would mean so much if you would be the maid of honor at my wedding.
Amy: What? Wait is this some kind of practical joke? Like in Norway when my "friends" trapped me in a sauna with a horny otter?

Amy: I don't object to the concept of a deity, but I'm baffled by the notion of one that takes attendance.

Amy: Are you hungry? How about that sushi place you love?
Bernadette: Doctor said I can't have sushi.
Penny: Okay, look, we don't have to go anywhere. We can just, you know, stay here and hang out in the hot tub.
Bernadette: Doctor said I can't go in the hot tub.
Amy: Maybe you should get a new doctor. What, he said you can't laugh either?

Amy: Stop it! Today is not about you, it's about Howard and Bernadette, and me!

Penny: Look, I know this is your wedding, and you can do whatever you want, but if you think anyone but me is gonna be your maid of honor, then you're an idiot because you are my best friend.
Howard: Too late, Bernade-
Amy: (pushes Howard out of the way, rushes to hug Penny) Bestie!

Amy: You can't blame yourself. When your pre-frontal cortex fails to make you happy, promiscuity rewards you with the needed flood of Dopamine. We neurobiologists refer to it as the skank reflex.

Amy: (Reading Sheldon's relationship agreement) Section 5, Hand Holding: Hand holding is only allowed under the following circumstances: A. either party is in danger of falling of a cliff, precipice or ledge; B. either party is deserving of a hearty hand shake after winning a Nobel prize; C. moral support during flu shots.

Amy: I find the notion of romantic love an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships.

Penny: Coming. Yup, that's good. Wine glasses should have handles. (Answers the door to Amy)
Amy: Keeping accurate track of your alcohol intake. Smart idea considering how trampy you get when you've had a few.
Penny: You heard what I did?
Amy: I heard who you did.

Amy: Sheldon, is it possible that your foul mood -- or, to use the clinical term, bitchiness -- is because your mother isn't making you a priority?
Sheldon: No. Or, to use the clinical term: "nuh-uh."

Amy: You don't need to explain yourself to him.
Sheldon: (To Leonard) I don't need to explain myself to you!
Amy: You're sick of his nonsense and you're ready to move in with me.
Sheldon: (To Leonard) Keep the table. We don't use that space.
Amy: Damn it. I got cocky.

Amy: He was really angry that you suggested he move out.
Leonard: Oh.
Amy: I also mentioned that he and I could live together, but he was too mad at you to realize what a great idea that is.

Amy: Oh, are we nervous, Dr. Cooper?
Sheldon: No. What you see is a man trembling with confidence.

Amy: Come on. Let's get you to bed. You've had a lot to drink.
Sheldon: No more than Penny.
Amy: That's what I'm saying.