Leonard: Oh, my God, you look amazing.
Raj: I find you guilty of murder, because you are killing it.
Howard: (imitating Sheldon) Well, technically, the Supreme Court wouldn't determine a defendant's guilt or innocence in a criminal matter. They could only reverse or revamp a jury's conviction based on a constitutional or statutory issue.

Howard: Anyway, if you guys could apologize, it'd be a big help.
Amy: Oh, we'd be happy to apologize to her as soon as she apologizes to me for not making you apologize to Sheldon.
Howard: I didn't follow that, but, then, between my wife and that guacamole, I didn't get a lot of sleep last night.

Howard: (imitating Dick Van Dyke's cockney accent) Well, Gorblimey. You look like a thousand tuppence. Don't he, Mary Poppins?
Bert: Are you gonna talk like that all night?
Howard: Jiff willikers, I am.
Bernadette: Isn't he cute? He's gonna get a spoonful of sugar later.
Howard: And I'm gonna sweep Ms. Poppins' chimney.

Howard: Hello. [dressed like Sheldon, imitating him]
Sheldon: Hello.
Howard: I see you are dressed as Doc Brown from Back to the Future. May I assume that Amy is going as his wife, Clara Clayton, from Back to the Future Part III?
Sheldon: She is. Did you do something different to your hair?
Howard: Yes.
Sheldon: Looking good.

Amy: What are you going as?
Howard: I don't want to ruin the surprise. You'll see it at work. Just a warning: it's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Is it a bird?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Is it a dog?
Howard: No.
Sheldon: Oh, I think I'll be fine, then.

Howard: Well, Chewbacca was losing and getting angry and-
Sheldon: W-W-Wait. Are you saying we should let the Wookiee win?
Howard: Hey. Hey, that's my wife you're talking about. (whispers) But yes, let the Wookiee win.

Sheldon: Well, I can understand how that would make someone irritable.
Howard: Interesting fact: "irritable" comes from the Latin, "susceptible to anger."
Sheldon: Just because I used a word doesn't mean I want its etymology.
Howard: Interesting fact: "etymology" comes from the Greek word-

Howard: Do I look like I just woke up?
Leonard: No.
Howard: Great. I'm gonna go say hey to Raj.

Leonard: Tam Nguyen?
Tam: Yes. Is my son done with his tour?
Howard: No idea. We're actually friends of Sheldon Cooper.
Tam: Oh, I've been trying to get in touch with him, but I never heard back. Is he okay?
Leonard: Well, if you mean physically, yes.
Howard: If you mean every other way, no.

Raj: Wait, wait, wait. If Tam knows what he did, we can just ask him. He's gonna be on campus tomorrow showing his son around.
Leonard: Won't that make Sheldon mad?
Raj: Everything makes Sheldon mad.
Howard: Yeah. Look at his list. Jim Henson for, quote, "putting a terrifying, giant yellow bird on television and in my nightmares."

Howard: So, he was your best friend growing up?
Tam: Yes.
Howard: Were there no other kids in Texas?

Howard: All right, got his enemies list. Ooh, he updated the interface. You can search by first name, last name or length of grudge.
Raj: Is Tam on it?
Howard: Let's see. Yep. Right here. Tam Nguyen.
Leonard: Oh, great. What did he do?
Howard: Hold on. I have to agree to the terms of service. No, I'm not a robot. Okay.
"Which of these are plants?" And we're in.

Leonard: Sounds like Penny and Bernadette had fun last night.
Howard: I know. Bernie came home pretty drunk. She tried to sleep in the dryer.

Howard: I've known you a long time. You believe in romance more than any person I've ever met and it's hard to see you give up on that. But if you really think marrying this woman is gonna make you happy, then you have my complete and total support.
I will be with you every step of the way.
Raj: Thanks, Howard. That means a lot.
Howard: So, hey, is this wedding gonna be in India?
Raj: Ah, maybe.
Howard: Urgh.

Bernadette: So, Penny, we were talking to our neighbors, and they're thinking of moving and selling their house.
Penny: Really? Why?
Howard: Something about babies crying and keeping them up all night; it's not important. You guys should totally take a look at it.