Sheldon: This day just keeps on getting worse and worse.
Penny: You know, if it makes you feel any better ...
Sheldon: It probably won't.
Penny: You're probably right.

Leonard: I did not force you to go to that.
Penny: You left the house in a fez and a bow tie. I went so you wouldn't get beat up.
Leonard: I wasn't going to get beat up.
Penny: You were but somehow I held myself back.

Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: I'm mad at Amy.
Penny: Did you she leave pit stains in your favorite crop top, too?

Penny: Wow, I just felt this wave of emotion for you.
Sheldon: You sure it's not too much bible juice?
Penny: And the wave is gone.

Amy: Ooh, you just chose champions. It's like we're re-enacting the ancient German practice of trial by combat.
Penny: It's also like when the Mountain fought the Red Viper in Game of Thrones.
Bernadette: Leonard makes you watch that, too?
Penny: No, I like that show. It's got dragons and people doing it.

Penny: You know, when Leonard's feeling anxious, I make him take a long walk.
Amy: Does that help?
Penny: For a while, then he comes back.

Penny: Drop dead, you stupid, self-centered bastard.

Amy: That would be my boyfriend. Happier playing his dopey Star Trek game with his friends than hanging out with me
Penny: Wars.
Amy: What?
Penny: Star Wars. They get all cranky when you mix the two up.
Amy: What's the difference?
Penny: There is absolutely no difference!

Raj: Penny, if you truly want to be romantic it has to come from you.
Penny: I get that, but why is this so hard?
Raj: You've probably never had to do this before because you're young and beautiful, and men have always thrown themselves at you.
Penny: Yeah, I'm trying to be sad about that. I can't.

Leonard: I'll show you what's in the box if you promise not to flip out.
Sheldon: Why would I flip out? Is it a spider? Oh, oh, it's a spider?
Penny: No, if it were a spider, Lenny would have flipped out.

Leonard: Sheldon's being reasonable.
Penny: Yeah, it's freaking me out. I'm gonna go.

Sheldon: Oh, I'm fine. It's just some stomach medication for my trip. There's a remote yet distinct possibility that I may end up in South America.
Penny: Remember the old days when I would have said something dumb like "Why?"

Howard: He compared Sheldon to a disposable feminine cleansing product one might use on a Summer's Eve.
Penny: Yeah and the bag it came in.

Penny: I grew up on a farm. From what I heard, they're either having sex or Howard's caught in a milking machine.

Raj: Well, I've always had this fantasy that involves dancing. The sexual chemistry between my partner and me. But boy oh boy, does my father not approve until he sees us in the big dance competition.
Penny: Okay, that's just the plot for "Dirty Dancing".