Raj: Have you seen this Archie comic? It's actually Archie versus Predator.
Howard: How could Archie defeat Predator?
Raj: I don't know. Maybe Jughead's a Terminator.

Howard: Okay, how about this for an invention: slightly bigger cocktail umbrellas?
Leonard: How is that a new invention?
Howard: I don't know. All Apple does is change the size of things and we keep buying them.
Raj: It's true. I like my giant iPad and my little iPad almost as much as my regular-sized iPad.

Sheldon: How did you even get it in here?
Raj: That's for me, Ramon, Julio, Jesus and Rodrigo to know and you to find out.

Raj: The Good Wife is on. I tell you, this is my new Grey's Anatomy.

Raj: Okay, if no one else will say it, I will. We really suck at paintball.

Raj: With women! I like to boogie with women!

Raj: I don't call anyone a whore, and the only time I use the phrase "my bitch", I'm referring to you (Howard).

Raj: Fate has given me a rare second chance and I swear to Vishnu that I'm not going to blow it. ... Or normal words followed by a charming smile.

Raj: So you have tattoos?
Emily: Yeah.
Raj: I don't. I have a hole in my belly button that may or may not have been a piercing.
Emily: That's cool.
Raj: It's a piercing.

Sheldon: Good to see you again, Mr. Stephen Hawking Liked Our Paper.
Leonard: Oh, and you as well, Mr. Our Premise Is Intriguing.
Howard: How do you do, Mr. I'll Admit That's Pretty Cool.
Raj: Yeah, you keep setting me up for failure.

Raj: I think the next time I have to speak to a call center in India, I'm going to try use an American accent.
Howard: Why?
Raj: Because when I use my regular voice, I feel like I'm making fun of them.

Bernadette: Come on, get in her head. Be intimidating.
Raj: Okay. I'm gonna own you bitch!
Penny: Whoa!
Bernadette: Hey!
Raj: Let's just play.

Leonard: How do you want to start?
Raj: I don't know. How do you want to start?
Leonard: I don't know. Should we call Sheldon and Howard?
Raj: No, we can do this by ourselves.
Leonard: Great. How do you want to start?
Raj: I don't know. How do you want to start?

Raj: You guys ever notice that Emily has a bit of a twisted side?
Bernadette: You mean 'cause she has weird tattoos?
Raj: No, because she wants to have sex with me in a graveyard.

Raj: Look at us! We're like the Rockettes!