Raj: Shut your ass!

Raj: It's amazing what liquor does to guilt.

Raj: Come on, dude, bros before ... my sister.

Raj: Bad news, the Nigerian prince maybe a fraud.

Raj: Hold on. I'm talking to an orc under the bridge in Thunder Bluff who says if we pay him, he'll help us track down your things.
Sheldon: Can we trust him?
Raj: I should say so, he appears to be a member of the Nigerian royal family.

Leonard: Why don't we play this smart? Try a little good goblin, bad goblin.
Priya: Oh, dear Lord.
Howard: Nah, I think we have to be more subtle.
Raj: Okay, I see where this is going. Fine, I'll have sex with him.
Leonard: That's not where it was going.
Raj: Good, because I would hate that.

Leonard: Did your sister say anything when you got home last night?
Raj: Oh, no, don't put me in the middle of this. I'm not going to be your go-between.
Leonard: Come on, help me out. Am I in trouble?
Raj: There's no reason to worry.
Leonard: That's a relief.
Raj: I'm sure many women in happy relationships spend their nights Skyping with their ex-boyfriend Sanjay.

Raj: I took the liberty of burning us a mix of heroic questing music.
Sheldon: This says Beyonce Bootylicious Dance Mix.
Raj: It's a re-writable CD. Just put it in.
Howard: Beyonce? Really?
Raj: She's curvy and she owns it. I like that.

Sheldon: You know, the joke's on him. Without the certificate of authenticity, that bat'leth is worthless.
Howard: Yeah, he walked right into our trap.
Raj: Legoland seems like a hollow dream now.

Raj: You heard me, I forbidded it.
Priya: Forbidded it?
Raj: Forbayded it?

Raj: Penny, you became disenchanted with Leonard as a lover. Would you please tell my sister why?

Raj: Leonard, I swear to God, if you sister ever comes to town, I shall have my way with her.
Leonard: my sister's thirty-eight and married.
Raj: All the more shame that will fall upon the house of Hofstadter.

Raj: It's completely inappropriate for a single woman to entertain a man in private. If you insist on talking, you must do it on the couch! All right, you may talk in the bedroom, but I want this door to remain open! All right, just this once you may close the door. But keep in mind I'll be right out here monitoring the situation! (Makes a phone call) Oh, damn it. Leonard, when you get this message, call me. (Makes another call) Priya, this is your brother. When you get this, tell Leonard to check his voicemail.

Raj: Why are you holding hands? I forbid you to hold hands.
Priya: Rajesh, you know Leonard and I spent the night together.
Raj: Yeah, but you were just sleeping, because I forboded you to have sex.
Leonard: The word is forbade.
Raj: Are you sure? That doesn't sound right.

Raj: Nice place. Reminds me of my parents' house back in New Delhi.
Howard: You're kidding.
Raj: No. We are very wealthy. But the only difference is, we have more servants.
Leonard: More than this?
Raj: More than we can use. You see, in India, we don't make the mistake of letting our poor people have dreams.