Howard: Here's an approximation of the spare parts available on the Space Station. We gotta find a way, using nothing but this, to reinforce this so the waste material avoids the spinning turbine.
Raj: You mean so it doesn't hit the fan?

Raj: Well, I'm a Hindu. My religion teaches that if we suffer in this life we are rewarded in the next. Three months at the North Pole with Sheldon and I'm reborn as a well-hung billionaire with wings.

Raj: Ooo, big talk from a man who was once treed by a chicken.

Wolowitz: Sex is never the way I dreamed it was going to be.
Raj: Because in your dreams, you're a horse from the waist down.

Raj: I'm telling you, Leonard, video slot machines, free drinks brought to us by a bosomy barmaid and all you can eat shrimp for $3.95. Disneyland can suck it. This is the real happiest place on Earth.

Raj: We need a plan. How about Operation Hammer of the Gods?
Leonard: I forget, which one is Hammer of the Gods?
Raj: We hide behind the dumpsters in the parking lot and ambush people when they come to pee.

Wolowitz: Oh, stop it with the fake third world crap. Your father is a gynecologist and you had a house full of servants.
Raj: We only had four servants, and two of them were children.

Leonard: How can 5 not be worse than 1?
Raj: Yeah, Star Trek 5 worse than 1.
Sheldon: Okay, first of all that is a comparison of quality not intensity. Secondly, Star Trek 1 is orders of magnitude worse than Star Trek 5.
Raj: Are you joking? Star Trek 5 is the standard against which all badness is measured.

Sheldon: Is it wrong to say I love our killer robot?
Rajesh: As with my father I both love and fear it.

Sheldon: Teams are traditionally named after fierce creatures thus intimidating one's opponent.
Raj: Then we could be the Bengal tigers.
Sheldon: Poor choice. You know, gram for gram no animal exceeds the relative fighting strength of the army ant.
Raj: Maybe so, but you can't incinerate a Bengal tiger with a magnifying glass.

Howard: Ooh, more details about the new Star Trek film! There is going to be a scene depicting Spock's birth.
Raj: I'd be more interested in a scene depicting Spock's conception.

Rajesh: Die, Toaster, Die!

Raj: How can I be a gynaecologist? I can barely look a woman in the eye!

Howard: I guess times have changed since we were young. Smart is the new sexy.
Leonard: Then why do we go home alone every night? We're still smart.
Rajesh: Maybe we're too smart. So smart it's off-putting.
Howard: Yeah, let's go with that.

Rajesh: Why don't we do it your way then? We'll arrange for this girl to move in across the hall from Dennis so he can pathetically moon over her for months on end.
Leonard: Okay, that was uncalled for.
Rajesh: You started it, dude.