Tam: Hello, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Hello Tam. Thank you for coming. I just want you to know that, um, I forgive you.
Tam: I didn't do anything.
Sheldon: And yet, here I am, still being the bigger man.

Sheldon: You just remember the mnemonic: if it's number one, the library's fun, if it's number two, the basement's for you.

Sheldon: Uh, don't worry, Leonard, you're still my California best friend.
Leonard: Cool.
Sheldon: So, what do you want to do now? Go to the train store, go to the comic book store?
Tam: Actually, I have to grab my son and head to the airport. I was just about to call a cab.
Sheldon: Don't be silly, you don't have to call a cab. You're my oldest friend. Leonard will take you. Right, Leonard?
Leonard: Sure.

Leonard: Shall we?
Sheldon: Eh, eh, eh, hold on. I haven't seen Tam in 20 years, give me a chance to say good-bye. Bye. [Sheldon walks away]

Raj: Hey, did you guys know this year's the 40th anniversary of Halloween?
Sheldon: Oh, nonsense. Halloween traditions of date back to the Celtic festival of Samhain. Although our current Halloween customs come from the evening before All Hallows' Day, All Hallows' Eve. Thus, Halloween.
Raj: I meant the movie Halloween.
Sheldon: Oh. Well, that's not interesting at all.
Leonard: Did you know the Michael Myers mask from the film was actually a Captain Kirk mask turned inside out?
Sheldon: Okay, now it's interesting.

Bernadette: What do you think you're doing?
Amy: I thought it was clear. I'm being unnecessarily hurtful but with a sweet voice.
Sheldon: And I don't understand what's going on because I went to MIT.

Sheldon: I think Howard hurting my feelings has in some ways made me a better person.
Amy: Hmm. Look at you, improving on perfection. How so?
Sheldon: As you were eating that Danish, I wanted to point out that the Danish isn't Danish at all. It was imported by Austrian bakers during a labor dispute in the 1800s. But I chose not to, because I didn't want to be the kind of fella who foists unwanted facts about European pastries on the unwilling.
Amy: Huh. That's actually interesting.
Sheldon: Sorry. Now you'll never know.

Sheldon: Hello, Bernadette.
Bernadette: Wait, did you just walk into my house?
Sheldon: No, Howard let me in.
Bernadette: Where is he?
Sheldon: Oh, he got in his car and drove away.

Sheldon: Well, people used to call me egghead 'cause there were eggs on my head. 'Cause they threw them at me.

Bernadette: One time my brothers made me breathe helium. I tried to call for help, but the only one who could hear me was the dog.
Sheldon: That's also terrible. My goodness, you had to live in a house with a dog.

Raj: Sheldon, you sure you're ready for this? This movie's pretty scary.
Sheldon: Please. I'm an adult. I think I can handle it.
Leonard: That's what you said about the butterfly pavilion at the zoo.
Sheldon: That was my fault. After I pet that goat, I felt like a gladiator.

Barry Kripke: Hofstadter! Heard Siebert put you in charge of the administrative fund. Can't think of a better guy for the job.
Sheldon: I think he's done this before.

Sheldon: Leonard, I just wanted to congratulate you on how well you are managing this grant money.
Leonard: What do you want?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just came by to pay you a compliment.
Leonard: Nice try. The answer's no.
Sheldon: To what? I'm not asking you for anything. All I need for my job is right here.
Hmm? This is my office. Which makes for a great commute. Home, work, home. I'm still working, I'm just working from home.
Penny: You know, if it's that easy, then why does Leonard have to drive you to work every day?
Sheldon: Because I like the frozen yogurt machine in the cafeteria. Ooh, I suppose I could use a frozen yogurt machine-
Leonard: Denied!

Leonard: Sorry. I'm distracted.
Sheldon: Ooh, aren't you the hustler.
Leonard: No matter who I give the funds to, someone is gonna be upset with me.
Sheldon: Do you really care if people are angry at you?
Leonard: Of course.
Sheldon: Interesting. Why don't you go to the store and get me some tapioca pudding or I'm gonna be angry at you.
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: So it comes and goes?

Leonard: Wait, you can make this decision. You don't care if you upset people. You can pick for me.
Sheldon: I certainly could.
Leonard: Oh, great.
Sheldon: But I won't. I think this is a learning opportunity for you.
Leonard: Sheldon, come on.
Sheldon: Oh, I'm sorry. Did I upset you?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon: Ask me how I feel about that.