Amy: So, we got everybody gifts.
Penny: Aw.
Leonard: Did you forget about us until you were at the airport?
Sheldon: No. We forgot about you until we were on the plane. Luckily, there was Wi-Fi, and I have Amazon Prime.

Sheldon: Look, it doesn't have to just be New York. That's the beauty of it. Uh, the initials "N.Y." can stand for anything you like. For instance, I understand that there is an elderly rock-and-roll musician named Neil Young. Perhaps you heart him. Or if not him, Egyptian table tennis silver medalist Noha Yossry. Or Nana Yamaguchi, the Japanese voice actress who starred in Sally the Witch.
Raj: Did you just Google the initials "N.Y."?
Sheldon: I had Wi-Fi and a long plane flight. Draw your own conclusions.

Amy: Sheldon, that's not how you write a thank you card.
Sheldon: What's wrong with it?
Amy: "Dear Aunt Helen, thank you so much for the lovely place setting. If my handwriting looks strained, that is because this is the 16th thank you card Amy has forced me to write. The muscles in my wrist are cramping as I struggle to finish this sentence. Ow, ow, oh, the pain. Love, Sheldon."
Sheldon: Fine. "And Amy." Ow.

Amy: This one is from Leonard and Penny. Aw. "The perfect gift for the perfect couple."
Sheldon: Save that card. We may need to throw it back in their faces.

Amy: I wonder what it could be.
Sheldon: Oh, could be anything. A flute, a letter opener, one of those pens where you put the bikini back on the naked lady.

Amy: I can't stop thinking about that present. It's driving me crazy.
Sheldon: Me, too! The card said it was the perfect gift. But it's not a dinosaur fossil or matching pocket watches, so I don't see how it can be.

Sheldon: I just wanted to pop over and hand-deliver this thank you note for your very thoughtful wedding gift.
Penny: Oh.
Leonard: Oh, good. You guys liked it?
Sheldon: Well, we liked it a lot more than things that aren't it, I'll tell you that.
Penny: Well, yeah, that's great. Because when we saw it, we thought, "Amy and Sheldon just have to have that."
Sheldon: Oh, do tell. Now, paint a picture for me, like where you were when you found it and what you thought we'd enjoy doing with it.
Leonard: Do you not know what it is?
Penny: Of course he knows what it is. He's the smartest man in the world.
Sheldon: Well, I don't know about the world. Some of those Chinese fellas are pretty clever. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to return home and use your gift in the manner which it was intended.

Sheldon: I met my wife here, and we sat at this very table, so if you play your cards right, in eight years, you could marry this woman.
Greg: That's my sister.
Sheldon: Well, don't tell people. That's not okay.

Sheldon: I know just what we're giving them for a wedding gift.

Sheldon: Now, I'm not sure if this helps, but did you know that pineapples were once so rare that King Charles posed for a portrait with one?
Leonard: How does that help?
Sheldon: Oh, it helped me. I've been trying to slide that into a conversation for years.

Leonard: It's just Penny hit me with some pretty big news and it's a lot to process.
Sheldon: And you'd like to do that quietly. I respect that.
Leonard: She said she doesn't want to have kids.
Sheldon: Maybe she didn't mean it, like when you said you didn't want to talk about this.
Leonard: Forget it.
Sheldon: Do you want to have children?
Leonard: Well, I always assumed we would and now I find out, you know, I might be the last of the Hofstadter line.
Sheldon: Doesn't your brother have children? And your sister. She kept the Hofstadter name and has five healthy boys: Neil, Jeffrey, Scott, William and baby Richard.
Leonard: I'm going back to being quiet.
Sheldon: Sweet.

Sheldon: Of course.And not only you. I've added some guests who couldn't be there.
Amy: Who's that next to my father?
Sheldon: The Wright brothers.
Amy: And why are they at our wedding?
Sheldon: Orville, because I admire him; Wilbur, because he was Orville's plus-one.

Leonard: You know, I was curious to find out what Tam had done wrong. Why am I not surprised the answer is nothing?
Sheldon: So you're taking his side. You scurvy dog. You watch yourself.There is room on my enemies list now that the cafeteria ladies finally told me what's in the chili. By the way, don't eat the chili. Wait, wait, wait. You know what? Do.

Amy: Let me guess. This thing with Tam escalated, and now you're mad at Leonard and looking for a new best friend?
Sheldon: You know me so well. It's too bad you can't be my best friend.
Amy: I can be.
Sheldon: You can't be my wife and my best friend. Who would I complain about you to?

Sheldon: When I got accepted to grad school at Caltech, I was afraid to move so far away from home. So Tam said he'd move out here with me and be my roommate. Then, over the summer, he got a girlfriend, even after reading all the pamphlets I gave him about social diseases.
Amy: Aw, I remember when you gave me those pamphlets.