Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 207 of 239

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Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

*Penny enters the apartment without knocking*
Sheldon: Who is it? Hello, Penny. It's open, come in. Sarcasm.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Sheldon: Please. We're facing a far more serious problem than stray arachnids.
Leonard: It's not so bad.
Sheldon: Not bad? It's horrible. You hear stories about this things, but you never think it'll happen to you.
Leonard:So they steamed your dumplings. Get over it.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Penny: Is Leonard around?
Sheldon: He's upstairs at Alicias.
Penny: Oh. all right, that's cool, no biggie. He said he'd help me set up my printer, but I guess I can wait. What exactly is he doing up there?
Sheldon: In what I can only perceive as a tactical move to destroy me, he is with Wolowitz and Koothrappali setting up her stereo.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Penny: Oh, they're all up there, huh? Hmm, typical.
Sheldon: It's axiomatically atypical. Up until recently, they did not know Alicia, and had no encounters with her in a previous location. They never went upstairs to visit the former tenants, so your characterization of their behavior as typical Is demonstrably fallacious.
Penny: Okay, now I see the giant squid head.

Quote from the episode The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition

Sheldon: You know, Penny, there's something that occurs in beehives you might find interesting. Occasionally, a new queen will arrive while the old queen is still in power. When this happens, the old queen must either locate to a new hive or engage in a battle to the death until only one queen remains.
Penny: What are you saying, that I'm threatened by Alicia? That I'm like the old queen of the hive and it's just time for me to go?
Sheldon: I'm just talking about bees. They're on the Discovery Channel. What are you talking about?
Penny: Bees.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: All right, are you familiar with the development that resulted from Honore Blanc's 1778 use of interchangeable parts? The assembly line, of course.
Penny: Okay, you know what, if I'm not allowed to be snide, you're not allowed to be condescending.
Sheldon: That wasn't a part of our original agreement, and I do not agree to it now.
Penny: All right, fine. How are we supposed to set up machines and conveyor belts in my apartment?
Youre thinking of the moving assembly line, an understandable but not excusable mistake. No, the moving assembly line, that was introduced by Henry Ford in 1908. That innovation is what made possible our modern consumer culture by enabling a low-unit cost for manufactured goods. I guess that isn't one of the topics discussed on your Radiohead.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Howard: Too bad. You know the rules of Secret Agent Laser Obstacle Chess. Leonard died again, Sheldon. You're up.
Sheldon: Despite my deep love of chess, lasers and aerosol disinfectant, I must forfeit.
Leonard: Why?
Sheldon: Because it's almost eleven o'clock.
Leonard: So?
Sheldon: So ... Penny has a don't knock on my door before eleven o'clock or I punch you in the throat rule.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: Bailment describes a relationship in common law where a physical possession of personal property, or chattels, is transferred from one person, the bailor, to another person, the bailee.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Look, look, look. I started a business.
Sheldon: Obviously, not a cleaning business.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Penny: Sheldon, don't you get it? If this takes off, I won't have to be a waitress anymore.
Sheldon: But then who will bring me my cheeseburger on Tuesday nights?
Penny: Another waitress.
Sheldon: What's her name?
Penny: I don't know.
Sheldon: And you're going to let her handle my food?
Penny: Nancy. Her name is Nancy.
Sheldon: I think you're just making that up.
Penny: Sheldon, I'm sorry about your hamburger, okay? I just don't want to be a waitress for the rest of my life.
Sheldon: Cheeseburger. I get a cheeseburger.
Penny: Fine, cheeseburger.
Sheldon: Maybe I'd be better off with Nancy.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: All right, ten dollars a day times five days a week, times 52 weeks a year is two thousand six hundred dollars.
Penny: That's all?
Sheldon: Before taxes.
Penny: Well, I don't have to pay taxes on this stuff.
Sheldon: I believe the Internal Revenue Service would strongly disagree.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: Just to be clear here, you're asking for my assistance.
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: And you understand that will involve me telling you what to do?
Penny: I understand.
Sheldon: And you're not allowed to be sarcastic or snide to me while I'm doing so.
Penny: Okay.
Sheldon: Good. Let's begin with the premise that everything you've done up to this point is wrong.
Penny: Oh, imagine that.
Sheldon: Sarcasm. Good-bye.
Penny: No, sorry. Wait, please come back.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Leonard: Are you thinking about adding a desiccant like calcium sulphate?
Howard: Actually, I'm thinking about this one stripper named Vega. But sure, calcium sulphate could work.
Sheldon: Let's think out of the box for a moment. How about a molecular sieve?
Leonard: Oh!
Penny: I've got a spaghetti strainer in the kitchen.
Sheldon: Wow.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Sheldon: I believe I'm hearing some negativity on the factory floor.
Penny: So?
Sheldon: Penny, the labor force is a living organism that must be carefully nurtured. Any counterproductive grumbling must be skilfully headed off by management. Observe. Hey! Less talk, more work!
Penny: Nicely done.
Sheldon: Thank you. You hear any union talk, you let me know.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Leonard: Sheldon, we still have 380 of these things to make.
Sheldon: I have complete faith that you will make them. Good night.
Penny: Leonard?
Leonard: Yeah, no. But, Sheldon, without your insight and leadership this entire enterprise will surely fail.
Sheldon: You're right, of course.

Quote from the episode The Work Song Nanocluster

Penny: Here, this will help.
Sheldon: Very well, but if this leads to opiates or hallucinogenics, you're going to have to answer to my mother.

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