Sheldon Cooper Quotes Page 207 of 246

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Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: There's just no pleasing you, is there, Leonard? You weren't happy with my previous approach to dealing with her, so I decided to employ operant conditioning techniques, building on the work of Thorndike and B.F. Skinner. By this time next week, I believe I can have her jumping out of a pool, balancing a beach ball on her nose.
Leonard: No, this has to stop now.
Sheldon: I'm not suggesting we really make her jump out of a pool. I thought the Bazinga! was implied.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: I'm just tweaking her personality, sanding off the rough edges if you will.
Leonard: No, you're not sanding Penny.
Sheldon: Are you saying that I'm forbidden from applying a harmless, scientifically valid protocol that will make our lives better?
Leonard: Yes, you're forbidden.
Sheldon: (Squirts Leonard with a water spray) Bad Leonard!

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: What could she possibly be talking about for so long?
Sheldon: Obviously, waitressing at the Cheesecake Factory is a complex socioeconomic activity, that requires a great deal of analysis and planning. Bazinga!

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: You know, using positive reinforcement techniques, I could train that behavior out of her in a week.
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: If you let me use negative reinforcement, I can get it done before we go to bed.
Leonard: You're not squirting her in the face with water.
Sheldon: No, of course not. Were talking very mild electric shocks. No tissue damage whatsoever.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: Oh, come on, you can't tell me that you're not intrigued about the possibility of building a better girlfriend.
Leonard: I'm not. And Penny's qualities, both good and bad, are what make her who she is.
Sheldon: You mean, like that high-pitched, irritating laugh?
Leonard: Yes.
Sheldon You wouldn't prefer a throaty chuckle?
Leonard: You're not changing how Penny laughs.
Sheldon: No, that would be incongruous, I was going to lower the whole voice to a more pleasing register.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: Well, I'm going to make some warm milk and then turn in. I trust if you two are planning in engaging in amorous activities, you'll keep the decibel level to a minimum.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: That does smell good, too bad it's Monday.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: Sheldon, you need to find a better way of dealing with Penny.
Sheldon: What am I supposed to do? Eat French Toast on a Monday? Now that would be impossible.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: Penny, while I subscribe to the "Many Worlds" theory which posits the existence of an infinite number of Sheldons in an infinite number of universes, I assure you that in none of them am I dancing.
Penny: Are you fun in any of them?
Sheldon: The math would suggest that in a few I'm a clown made of candy. But I don't dance.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Penny: What's this cartoon called again?
Leonard: Oshikuru: Demon Samurai.
Sheldon: And it's not a cartoon, it's anime.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Penny: I give up. He's impossible.
Sheldon: I can't be impossible; I exist. I think what you meant to say is, 'I give up; he's improbable'.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: Okay, I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: Really?
Leonard: Yes, you're using chocolates as positive reinforcement for what you consider correct behavior.
Sheldon: Very good. Chocolate?
Leonard: No, I don't want any chocolate! Sheldon, you can't train my girlfriend like a lab rat.
Sheldon: Actually, it turns out I can.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Sheldon: Interesting. Sex works even better than chocolate to modify behavior. I wonder if anyone else has stumbled onto that.

Quote from the episode The Gothowitz Deviation

Leonard: I know what you're doing.
Sheldon: You do?
Leonard: You're using chocolate as a positive reinforcement for what you consider is a correct behavior!
Sheldon: Very good. Chocolate?

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