Penny: Oh, God, I feel terrible.
Sheldon: Do you have a stomach ache, too?
Penny: No. Why, do you?
Sheldon: No.
Penny: Why did you ask if I had one, too?
Sheldon: Just making polite dinner conversation. Your turn.

Penny: All right. So, what's new in your life?
Sheldon: Well, my new shoes are not made for running.
Penny: Have you been running?
Sheldon: No. It's just a suspicion I have.

Sheldon: Mmm, mmm, mmm.
Penny: I'm so glad you like it.
Sheldon: I do. Leonard never cooks for me.
Penny: Well, maybe that's 'cause Leonard can't cook.
Sheldon: You can't cook and you made me this.

Penny: Ooh, I'm gonna get the cheesecake out of the fridge.
Sheldon: Oh, Lord, I'm in Jewish hell.

Leonard: Oh, just come in!
Sheldon: Thanks for seeing me on such short notice.
Leonard: What do you want, Sheldon?
Sheldon: Maybe this isn't a good time.
Leonard: Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you.
Sheldon: Do you really think death threats are an appropriate way to begin this conversation? Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.

Sheldon: And now, as promised, the tangent. "Sheldon and the Hell Hound", or "How I Lost My Hot Dogs".

Wil Wheaton: You ready to bowl?
Sheldon: Oh, I'm ready. I don't know if Stuart told you what you are up against tonight, but before you stands the co-captain of the East Texas Christian Youth Holy Roller Bowling League Championship Team 7-12 year-old division. Also, Penny is pretty good.
Wheaton: Great, then it's on.
Sheldon (to himself): Foolish Wil Wheaton. It was never off.

*After getting a spare in the bowling match*
Sheldon: Thank you, Jesus! As my mother would say.

Sheldon: I am the ball, my thoughts are its thoughts, its holes are my holes.

Wil Wheaton: Embrace the dark side.
Sheldon: That's not even from your franchise!

Sheldon: Well, well, well, if it isn't Wil Wheaton. The Green Goblin to my Spider-Man, the Pope Paul V to my Galileo, the Internet Explorer to my Firefox!

Sheldon: Tweet that, tweetie bird.

Sheldon: You did this, didn't you?
Wil Wheaton: Come on, Sheldon, do you really think I'd break up a couple just to win a bowling game?
Sheldon: No, I suppose not.
Wil Wheaton: Good. Keep thinking that.
Sheldon: Wheeeeatoooon!

Penny: This isn't fair to you, Leonard. I'm sorry. *runs off*
Sheldon: Penny, wait, come back. I'll get you ice cream!

Howard: Hey, Leonard, where do you come down on giant ants?
Raj: Sheldon says impossible. Howard and I say not only possible, but as a mode of transportation, way cooler than a Batmobile.
Sheldon: You are ignoring the square-cube law. The giant ant would be crushed under the weight of its own exoskeleton. And for the record, the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is jet pack, hoverboard, transporter, Batmobile, and then giant ant.