Sheldon: I realize it's irrational, but with Raj moving in there, I'm feeling a bit replaced.
Amy: Well, this isn't an easy time for him. He's losing his apartment, he's in debt, he's probably humiliated.
Sheldon: Yes, probably. But until we know for sure, how can I feel better?

Raj: This means a lot.
Sheldon: Well, I know this is a difficult time for you. You're losing your apartment, you're in debt, and you just- You must be humiliated.
Amy: Sheldon-
Sheldon: Oh, good grief. She is such a stickler for citing sources. Those were Amy's words.
Amy: Sheldon!
Sheldon: I know, I know! "Good grief" was originally said by Charlie Brown, geez.

Raj: You're right, I am humiliated. Thanks for pointing it out. You're such a jerk.
Sheldon: Can you believe this guy?
Everybody: Yes!
Sheldon: I thought that was gonna break the other way.

Sheldon: You took my room. You turned my friends against me. I hope you're happy.
Raj: What do I have to be happy about? My life's a wreck.
Sheldon: How come he can say it and I can't?

Sheldon: Penny would be the entree. Then Leonard's basically a cheese course. And because I love you, you're dessert.
Amy: I want to say "aw," but I'm gonna say "ew."

Sheldon: I believe I've made some progress on our ground rules.
Amy: Oh, good. What are they?
Sheldon: Okay, uh, number one: in matters of physics, I have the final say. In matters of neuroscience, you have the final say. Unless I disagree.

Amy: Number three. To avoid getting frustrated, we take built-in breaks and reward our successes with a small treat.
Sheldon: Ooh, that sounds fun. Now, we're talking about real treats, right? Not Bible verses like my mother used to give me.
Amy: Whatever you want.

Amy: Look at that.
Sheldon: Yes, this is remarkable.
Amy: So we're agreed: it's complete garbage.
Sheldon: By the way, your name can go first.

Sheldon: All right, either blow your nose or teach it to play "Camptown Races."

Sheldon: Yeah, boy, if good ideas came out of your brain the way mucus comes out of your nose, we'd be in good shape.

Amy: We're finally making progress. I wish we could do it without fighting.
Sheldon: What if the fighting is the reason we're making progress?
Amy: I suppose it's conceivable that the hormones associated with our fight-or-flight response could be sharpening our cognitive processes.
Sheldon: Well, if that's the case, then your grandparents mumble and have bad posture.

Sheldon: It seems we have a choice to make. Abandon all ground rules in the name of science, or give up collaborating for the sake of our relationship.
Amy: There's only one clear choice.
Sheldon: Science it is.
Amy: No, you bonehead!
Sheldon: Name-calling, that is perfect. Now, when I get to this equation here, really let me have it. You know? If it helps, I'm not the sharpest dresser.

Sheldon: And for your information, the summer conference on algebraic topology at Caltech is nerd prom.

Sheldon: Mind you, when we say "behind the flags", we don't literally mean these flags. That's just where we have dinner.

Sheldon: Bert, you're tying up the line. My apologies to all of you trying to call in with legitimate flag comments.