Sheldon: Being in close quarters, cleanliness is important. My hygiene is impeccable. In fact, animals don't trust me because I smell like nothing. Literally, nothing.

Amy: I suppose being the first people on a new planet would be incredibly exciting.
Sheldon: I know. We could be the first to plant a flag on Mars.
We could be the first to watch Mars Attacks on Mars.
We could be the first to say "Good lord, what on Mars are you talking about?"

Amy: We could also be the first people to procreate on Mars.
Sheldon: You just can't keep it in your space pants, can you?

Amy: Think about it. If we had a family there, our kids would be martians.
Sheldon: They would, wouldn't they? We could give them cool martian names. We could teach them about martian history, like who planted those flags or where'd that copy of Mars Attacks come from.

Howard: Certainly a lot more women are reading comics now.
Stuart: True. At the store, I had to put a seat on the toilet.

Sheldon: Play that funky music, white boy.
Leonard: I'm surprised you know that reference.
Sheldon: What reference?

Sheldon: Do you think there's a chance that an asteroid could hit the Earth, destroying Feynman's house and everyone in it?
Amy: No, Sheldon.
Sheldon: Well, buckle up. You're in for a cranky night.

Amy: What are we doing? This is a fort. Let's sit on the floor.
Sheldon: Roughing it? Okay. *sits on floor. Gasps* Everything looks so big from down here. This must be how Leonard feels.

Leonard: Well, you kids have fun. I'm going to go to sleep.
Sheldon: Leonard, don't you want to see the inside of the fort?
Leonard: Yeah, I'm good.
Sheldon: Oh, come on. I really wanted to tell someone they can't come in.

Amy: Can I come in?
Sheldon: Yes, oh, but enter through the side. Batman is a load-bearing blanket.

Sheldon: *singing in the tune of "Bingo Was His Name-o"* There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. J-A-M-E-S, C-L-E-R-K, space, M-A-X-W-E-L-L, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. There was a scientist who had a theory, and James Clerk Maxwell was his name-o. *claps* A-M-E-S--
Leonard: Okay, okay, we get it.

Sheldon: My aunt and uncle were married 63 years. Towards the end, it was like watching cheese melt.

Sheldon: Your friends? I think you mean my friends. And why wasn't I invited to this?
Amy: Maybe because the two of us being there would make them feel awkward.
Sheldon: We make everyone feel awkward. That's our thing!

Sheldon: I understand that we are no longer a couple, but I'd like to remind you that we made a baby together.
Amy: What baby?
Sheldon: A precocious, little Internet show known as Fun with Flags.

Amy: Whose bra is this?
Sheldon: It's not yours? Oh, my. How embarrassing for both of us.
Amy: It's Penny's.
Sheldon: Hey. You broke up with me, it's none of your business whose naked bosom I'm smushing around like pizza dough.