Leonard: That's not helpful.
Sheldon: Well, I'd give more examples, but everyone in your position is so forgettable.

Sheldon: What if I told you that I added your name to the cable bill?
Leonard: No.
Sheldon: That's just as well. They had me on hold for 20 minutes. I hung up.

Sheldon: You know what? I used to be a fan of evolution, but I've since evolved, and now I think it's dumb.

Amy: Being left out is a terrible feeling. No one understands that better than I do.
Sheldon: Hey, look at that. Even in your example, you're all by yourself.

Sheldon: You can't breathe our air without an inhaler. He's allergic to Earth nuts, but I'm the alien.

Leonard: I'll take my chances.
Sheldon: Fine. I wonder if they make "I told you so" cards in Braille.

Leonard: I'm going to guess that your main concern is the time commitment of watching an entire season of a new show.
Sheldon: Oh, no, not just a season. If I'm in, I'm in for the whole run, even if the quality declines.
Leonard: I get it. Smallville almost wrecked you.
Sheldon: Exactly. You know, I waited ten years to see a guy everyone knows can fly, fly.

Sheldon: Did you remember to ask for the chicken with broccoli to be diced, not shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Even though the menu description specifies shredded?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Brown rice, not white?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: You stop at the Korean grocery and get the good hot mustard?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Did you pick up the low sodium soy sauce from the market?
Penny: Yes.
Sheldon: Good. See how it's done, Leonard?

Sheldon: According to a recent study, simply thinking about exercise, even while sitting still, can have physical benefits. For all you know, I could be exercising right now.
Raj: Are you?
Sheldon: Na, I'll do it tomorrow.

Sheldon: Barry Kripke was there. I should let you know that he expressed interest in asking you out.
Amy: Well, actually, he already did.
Sheldon: Okay. But don't get too attached to him. In two years, 364 days, he's a dead man.

Sheldon: Uh, but this is violating university code.
Leonard: A little, but if I may quote Einstein, "The pursuit of science calls us to ignore the rules set by man"
Sheldon: Huh. All right, do it. Tell him we're in.
Leonard: Done.
Sheldon: I can't find that quote on the Internet. Did you make that up?
Leonard: Before I answer, may I just say your skin has never looked better.
Sheldon: Aren't you just made of sugar.

Sheldon: I realized something. When Amy was in my life, I was hyper-focused on my work and ignored her.
Penny: And you don't want to make the same mistake with the next woman.
Sheldon: No, I need a new woman in my life to ignore so I can hyper-focus on my work again.

Raj: Maybe you don't want someone exactly like you. You know what they say: opposites attract.
Sheldon: Well, by that logic, I should be with someone short, dull and needy, eh? Not to cast aspersions, but I can't shake a stick around here without hitting that.

Leonard: Since when do you hum songs?
Sheldon: What are you talking about?
Leonard: You were just humming.
Sheldon: Are you sure? Sometimes when my brain really gets moving, it makes noise.
Leonard: How does your brain feel about calculating the surface tension of the domain walls?
Sheldon: Let's see. (starts humming) Hey! I was humming. One point for Hufflepuff.

Sheldon: Now this is your spot. You're very protective of it. When anyone else tries to sit here, you berate them relentlessly. It sounds mean, but somehow you make it adorable.