Howard: I'm an astronaut and you know it. You just don't like admitting it because you're jealous.
Sheldon: Well, truth be told, as a child I did dream of going to space. Those astronauts were my heroes. And when you got to go, it was hard for me.
Howard: Thank you.
Sheldon: Because it made me realize they'll just send anyone up there.

Howard: Anyway, she broke up with him and she's basically been alone ever since. She never said it, but I always felt I was the reason why.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Although, based on your story, you absolutely were the reason why.

Sheldon: I had the same feeling when I made my dad buy a betamax instead of a VHS.
Amy: You were just a little kid.
Sheldon: A little kid who picked the wrong format to record the MacNeil/Lehrer Report.

Sheldon: I also was certain HD-DVD would win out over Blu-ray.
Amy: How old were you then?
Sheldon: Old enough to know better!

Sheldon: This seemed so elegant at the time, but now I realize I was just a dumb country boy seduced by a big city theory with variables in all the right places.

Sheldon: As hard as this is I have to move on. I can't keep postulating multi-dimensional entities and get nothing in return. I have needs too!

Sheldon: Why do we have a geology book? Leonard, did you throw a children's party while I was in Texas?

Penny: Why would they lie to us?
Sheldon: That's a good question.
*Sheldon knocks three times on the restaurant window* Amy and Bernadette! [x3]
Sheldon: Why did you lie to us?

Sheldon: Amy, you told me you were sick. But you look as pale and tired as always.

Penny: Hey, maybe the answer to your career question is in one of these.
Sheldon: Penny, there's only one cookie with something in the middle that's solves life's problems and that's an Oreo. Or a nutterbutter if you're in a pinch.

Penny: Fine, I'll go. *Reads fortune cookie* "People turn to you for guidance and wisdom." Hey, that's a good one.
Sheldon: No, it's not.
Penny: How's it not good?
Sheldon: Turn to you for wisdom? Clearly that cookie is mocking you. ... You'd never hear that sass from a nutterbutter.

Sheldon: If I wanted to waste my time on nonsense, I'd follow Leonard on Instagram.

Sheldon: You know what this is? And I reserve this word for those instances when it's truly reserved. This is malarkey.

Sheldon: I'm working on the Star Wars day schedule. Now, I have a window built in, after Phantom Menace, for complaining. But I'm worried an hour won't be enough time.

Sheldon: What are you doing?
Leonard: Comforting you.
Sheldon: Your heart might be in the right place, but your head, chest and arms certainly aren't.