Amy: What's up?
Howard: I'm conducting a quick survey. Do you think this respectful and loving tribute to a great man is in poor taste? (Howard rolls out Remote Control Stephen Hawking)
Amy: Yep.

Howard: Do you think this is in poor taste?
Leonard: Does it spin around and do tricks?
Howard: Yeah!
Leonard: Then yeah.

Amy: I can't believe you head-butted a water fountain.
Sheldon: No, I went to punch the water fountain, slipped in water in front of the water fountain, and hit my head on the water fountain.

Sheldon: Sorry I'm moving slowly.
Leonard: Oh, I don't mind. If you pull a butterscotch out of your pocket, it would be like I'm walking with my grandma.

Sheldon: A plaque? Nobody wants to see this.
Leonard: Well, change "plaque" to "mixed-race couple" and you are my grandma.

Sheldon: I was hoping by admitting my weakness to you, I'd somehow be unburdened.
Bert: Is it working?
Sheldon: No. Now that you know my weakness, I hate you more than ever.

Bert: Sheldon wait. You know, you've got a lot to be happy about. You're at the top of your field, you have a great girlfriend.
Sheldon: Yes! That's right! I have Amy! In the past, you've professed feelings for her. Does it eat you up inside that I have her and you don't?
Bert: It used to. But now that I'm rich and successful, I think I can do better.