Leonard: Hey, why don't you tell me about your showcase last night?
Penny: Oh, it was okay, I guess. Wasn't a big turnout, but they both really seemed to like it.
Leonard: There were only two people there?
Penny: By the end, yeah.

Penny: Alright, remember when I auditioned for that workshop production of Rent, but I didn't get it and I couldn't figure out why?
Sheldon: I have a conclusion based on an observation.
Leonard: No, you don't. No he doesn't.

Sheldon: Never mind. I clearly woke you up in the middle of a REM cycle. You're in no state to talk.

Sheldon: Remember how Leonard told you we couldn't come to your performance because we were attending a symposium on molecular positronium?
Penny: I remember symposium.
Sheldon: Yes, well, he lied.
Penny: Wait, what?
Sheldon: He lied, and I'm feeling very uncomfortable about it.
Penny: Well imagine how I'm feeling.
Sheldon: Hungry? Tired? I'm sorry this really isn't my strong suit.

Leonard: You told her I lied? Why would you tell her I lied?
Sheldon: To help you.
Leonard: I'm sorry, I'm not seeing the help.
Sheldon: She was going to see through your lie eventually, so I told her that you were lying to protect me.
Leonard: Oh, I'm getting a bad feeling.
Sheldon: Hunger? Indigestion? I'm sorry. I'm really not very good at this.

Leonard: Okay. Why would I go to a drug intervention for your cousin?
Sheldon: Ah, because it's in Long Beach, and I don't drive.
Leonard: We're going to Long Beach?
Sheldon: No, of course not. Theres no cousin Leo, theres no intervention. Focus, Leonard.

Penny: Thanks. I just wanted to come by and wish you guys luck with your symposium.
Leonard: Oh, well, thank you.
Penny: You know, I got to tell you, a lot of friends would let their friend go alone, but that's not who you are. You are the kind of guy who stands by a friend when ... when he has a symposium to go to.
Leonard: I don't know what to say.

Sheldon: No. We're going with middle child and a generic predisposition to inadequate serotonin production.
Toby: Swell, how do I play genetic predisposition?
Sheldon: Sub-textually, of course.

Penny: Hi. How did the intervention go?
Sheldon: Unfortunately, we weren't able to convince him to go to rehab.
Penny: Well, based on what you told me, I'm not surprised.

Penny: Hey, do you want to come over to my place, have coffee?
Leonard: Sounds good.
Penny: I have a video of me singing last night. Do you want to see it?
Leonard: Gee, why wouldn't I?
Penny: This is even better than you coming to the showcase, because now I get to watch you watch me.
Leonard: Yeah. Funny how things work out.

Sheldon: Anyway, Penny now believes that on Friday night, we're going to participate in my cousin Leopold's drug intervention.
Leonard: Your cousin Leopold?
Sheldon: Yea, who most people call Leo, but he also answers to Lee. Remember that, it's important.
Leonard: What's important?
Sheldon: Details, Leonard. The success or failure of our deceitful enterprise turns on details.

Howard: Wait a minute, Farminfarmian is speaking and you're bogarting the symposium?
Leonard: Howard, I'm sorry. We're-
Howard: No, no. You're quark-blocking us.

Leonard: I couldn't say that. I would have to say, "You were terrific and I can't wait to hear you sing again."
Sheldon: Why?
Leonard: It's the social protocol. It's what you do when you have a friend who's proud of something they really suck at.
Sheldon: I was not aware of that.
Leonard: Well now you are.

Howard: No, it's okay, it's your Millenium Falcon. You and Chewbacca do whatever you want to do. Me and Princess Leia here will find some other way to spend the evening.

Leonard: Who are you?
Toby: I am Sheldon's cousin Leo.
Leonard: Oh, God! Sheldon does not have a cousin Leo.
Toby: Au contraire. I'm 26 years old. I'm originally from (reads off character profile) Denton, Texas, but I was a Navy brat so I was brought up on a variety of military bases around the world. As a result, I've often felt like an outsider, never really fitting in, which is probably the reason for my substance abuse problem.
Sheldon: Excuse me, we just went over this. As the quintessential middle child, your addiction is rooted in your unmet need for attention.
Toby: Oh, Sheldon, are we really going to go with pop psychology.