Leonard: Look, this is your wedding, just pick whoever you want. You don't need to worry about anyone else but yourself. You've kind of been training for this your whole life.

Leonard: And Amy's your best friend. I'm sure she'll come to her senses and pick you.
Penny: Okay, she's not my best friend. We're not 12. If she wants Bernadette to be her maid of honor, I really don't care.
Leonard: Sounds like you care.
Penny: No, I mean, it-it's just annoying. You know, we talk every day. We see each other all the time. She's always there for me, and basically-- oh, my God, Amy's my best friend.
Leonard: You okay?
Penny: No, my best friend didn't ask me to be her maid of honor. I'm pissed!

Sheldon: My mother is pushing for my brother, Georgie, to be my best man, and I hate to disappoint her again. I already rejected her savior and her LinkedIn invitation.

Amy: I'm really impressed at how you handled that, Howard.
Howard: Please. I've been sending food back my entire life. One of my first full sentences was, "I had breast milk for breakfast!"

Amy: Would you call yourself a loyal and trustworthy friend?
Raj: Yeah, I like to think so.
Amy: Great. Because I need to tell you something about Howard, but you can't tell him that I told you.
Raj: Nope. Don't want to hear it. Do not like to engage in gossip.
Amy: Okay. I respect your integrity.
Raj: Is it about his special underwear? Because I already know. And that's all I'll say. Fine, it has a charcoal filter in it.

Amy: You know, dealing with cold feet is an important part of being both best man and maid of honor. Maybe we should test for that ability.
Sheldon: You really think you might get cold feet?
Amy: Actually, I was talking about you.
Sheldon: Amy if there's one thing in this world I'm sure of, you are right to be worried.

Howard: [In Mandarin] This is Howard Wolowitz. We didn't get our fried rice. My fat Indian friend is upset. Thank you.

Sheldon: So as to not upset any of you further, I've asked Stuart to be my best man, and he's agreed. You're all still invited to the bachelor party. Uh, he's thinking Costco and the theme is browsing.

Amy: Hey, can you do me a favor? Can we try to avoid talking to our friends tonight about our wedding plans?
Sheldon: I'll do you one better. I'll avoid talking to our friends entirely and play on my phone.

Amy: It's just, I haven't picked a maid of honor yet, and I'm having trouble deciding between Penny and Bernadette.
Sheldon: Ah, understandable. They are quite similar - both blond former waitresses who married beneath them.

Amy: So if anyone brings it up tonight, just maybe you can help me change the subject.
Sheldon: How about this? I dominate the conversation so hard, no one has a chance to get a word in edgewise.
Amy: I don't know. They might see that coming.

Amy: Sheldon, what am I gonna do about my maid of honor? I mean, Bernadette gave me all these bridal magazines. She even folded down the pages with the good dresses.
Sheldon: Hmm. Hmm. I get it. You know, Leonard once borrowed my Edmund Scientific catalogue and dog-eared some pages. Never got 'em straight again.
Amy: Well, that is exactly the same thing. You really understand my dilemma.

Amy: How are we gonna make these decisions without anybody getting upset?
Sheldon: Well, what if we take emotion out of the process, and base it on empirical metrics? Then we aren't really making the decision; the data is.
Amy: So we can hurt our friends' feelings without taking any responsibility? Me likey.

Amy: But how do we apply quantitative metrics to something as subjective as choosing a wedding party?
Sheldon: That decision only seems subjective. In reality, people in a wedding party perform very specific functions, and some will perform those better than others. If I may use a superhero analogy-
Amy: You may not.

Amy: So we break down each of the roles into their component parts, and then design specialized tests for each.
Sheldon: Exactly. Boy, if I had known getting married was going to involve so much science, I'd have proposed years ago.