Sheldon: See, see. Look at my Netflix queue. There's two documentaries and the movie Friends with Benefits, which I thought was a documentary about employer health care plans.

Penny: Okay, we go down and back up. ... And back up!
Bernadette: Yeah, hearing you is not the problem.

Sheldon: Hello.
Bernadette: Let me guess. You're here to try to get me to go into labor.
Sheldon: Oh, please. I'm disgusted when people sneeze, and that's just stuff coming out of their nose.

Bernadette: Come on, baby. Get out here right now and I'll buy you a pony.

Bernadette: Ah, come on!
Sheldon: Welcome to the next five to eight weeks of your life.
Bernadette: Sheldon, I said I didn't want to play your game.
Sheldon: Well, then don't think of it as a game. Think of it as a source of information about one of the lesser known campaigns of World War II.
Bernadette: You're right. That's so much better.
Sheldon: I know, right?

Sheldon: Okay, first, we need to roll to determine the weather.
Bernadette: It's a desert. Isn't it gonna be hot?
Sheldon: (rolling dice, looking at the manual, rolling dice again, looking at the manual again) ... Yes.

Howard: Michael? Really, you think we're naming him Michael?
Bernadette: Not now, Howard. I'm in the middle of a game.

Howard: [entering the kitchen] I can't believe you're trying to hijack our son's name. [looking for Bernadette] Bernie?
Bernadette: This is as fast as I move! Calm down!

Bernadette: What's wrong with Michael? It's my dad's name.
Howard: I don't want to name our son after your father.
Bernadette: I didn't want to say this, but he's dying.
Howard: He is?
Bernadette: Eventually. I mean, you see the way the man eats.
Howard: Okay, is this the hormones, or have you always been a lunatic?
Bernadette: I don't even know anymore.

Amy: I think I got Bernadette in trouble. Maybe we should go.
Sheldon: I-I can't. She and I are playing Campaign for North Africa.
Amy: (sighs) She doesn't want to play that.
Sheldon: Neither did the Egyptians, but that didn't stop Rommel.

Raj: Hey! [carrying food] I brought Chinese.
Penny: [pointing to Raj] And I brought Indian.

Bernadette: Okay, if it's not Michael, then what do you want to name him?
Howard: Harry, like Potter or Houdini.
Bernadette: It doesn't bother you that I have an old boyfriend named Harry?
Howard: Okay. How 'bout Al or Max or Ted or Kevin?
Bernadette: Same answer.

Penny: You know, I always thought Christian was a nice name.
Howard: I don't know. Sounds a little too uncircumcised.

Bernadette: What about Paul?
Howard: Paul. Paul Wolowitz.
Raj: I like it. Ooh, like "Koothra-Paul-i."
Bernadette: Okay, you ruined it.

Sheldon: All right, that moves us on to the tactical shipping phase. Penny, I believe, as logistics commander, that's you.
Penny: Okay. [waving a white napkin] I surrender.
Sheldon: Nice try, Penny. It takes more than everybody not enjoying it to stop a game with Sheldon Cooper.