Amy: Your husband was acting kind of weird today.
Penny: You sure you're not thinking about your husband?
Amy: No. He was acting all sketchy. Almost like he was guilty or something.
Penny: Oh. Well, that doesn't mean anything. I mean, Leonard has resting guilt face.
Yeah, it's- It's like, "What are you guilty about, Leonard?" "Nothing." "Well, then, tell it to your face." [scoffs]

Amy: Sheldon, if someone were gonna do something ethically murky on your behalf, would you rather know about it or not know about it to retain your innocence?
Sheldon: Well, now that I know there's a thing to know, I have to know. Can't help myself; I'm a fact addict.
Amy: That's not a real thing.
Sheldon: And that's a fact.

Amy: I mean, it's sweet that you want to help, but we don't want you compromising your integrity for us.
Sheldon: Wait, what- Really? I thought we were just worried about looking bad.
Amy: It could be both.
Sheldon: Okay. But I'm gonna go with my reason. Yours is too complicated.

Howard: Listen, I did something kind of stupid today.
Bernadette: Okay.
Howard: I went to The Cheesecake Factory to try to figure out who that waitress was.
Bernadette: Howie.
Howard: Don't worry, I didn't find out, because I realized I didn't even care. While I was there, I started asking myself, "Why does this mean anything to me?" And I guess the truth is it was all about my vanity. And why should I need to be validated by another woman liking me when the best woman in the world already loves me? And I just wanted you to know that. [chuckles]
Bernadette: The restaurant manager already called. You really creeped a lot of people out.
Howard: And I regret that. [chuckles] Because the only woman I want to creep out is the mother of my children.
Bernadette: Well, you're off to a good start.

Dr. Pemberton: What you said was really hurtful, especially because I thought we were friends.
Sheldon: Why would you think that?
Dr. Pemberton: Ouch.

Dr. Campbell: Ignore them; they're just mean people.
President Siebert: Uh, not mean, just sorry. Seem mean, are sorry. Happens all the time.

Dr. Pemberton: It's okay. I talked to my therapist, and she made me realize that what you said was really more about your own insecurities.
Amy: I'm sorry, what?
President Siebert: There you go, she's sorry. We all heard it. Moving on.

Sheldon: No, no, no, no. Your money's no good here. [Sheldon takes the bill from Dr. Campbell and hands it to President Siebert]

Dr. Pemberton: Well, I'm glad that we hashed all that out, and moving forward, may the best team win.
Sheldon: I couldn't agree more. [quietly to Amy] We're the best team.

Barry Kripke: You can come, too.
President Siebert: That's a hard pass.

Amy: If we have damaging and embarrassing information about someone, should we keep it to ourselves or expose them?
[Everyone freezes and looks nervously at Amy]

Bernadette: I don't know. If someone's a cheater, they should be held accountable no matter how long ago it was.
Penny: Okay, now you just sound crazy.

Leonard: No, no, I agree with Bernadette. If Pemberton cheated, maybe he shouldn't have a career in the first place. There's plenty of people that didn't plagiarize.
Penny: And a few of us who did, but it's only 'cause The Scarlet Letter was so boring.
Leonard: Aw, I love The Scarlet Letter. That's where I got my taste for bad girls.

Bernadette: I'm just saying, Sheldon and Amy deserve to win, and sometimes that means doing what you got to do.
Howard: Don't you think it's better to take the high road?
Bernadette: Yeah, and instead of guns, armies should carry candy canes that shoot wishes.

Bernadette: When we first met, there was another waitress at The Cheesecake Factory who thought you were cute, so I told her you had all the hepatitises, A through Z.
Howard: There aren't 26 hepatitises.
Bernadette: Well, if she was smart enough to know that, she wouldn't still be working at a Cheesecake Factory.