Penny: So, I guess the only thing that actually stays the same is that things are always changing.
Sheldon: Interesting. So you're saying the inevitability of change might be a universal constant.
Penny: Well, there's a little more to it than that, but, yeah, sure.

Amy: Oh. That's me. Hello? Yes, this is Dr. Fowler. I see. Okay, thank you. We won.
Penny: Congratulations!
Leonard: Oh, my God!
Sheldon: We did it.
Amy: I know. Can you believe it?
Sheldon: That's a good point. What if I'm dreaming? [Leonard slaps Sheldon] We won the Nobel Prize!

Penny: Well should we wake him up?
Leonard: Well, he did say if he fell asleep, we were allowed to slap him awake.
Penny: Oh, boy.
Leonard: Wait a minute. Why do you get to do it?
Penny: 'Cause I called it.
Leonard: Well, you can't just call it. You have to earn it.
Penny: Oh, and you've earned it?
Leonard: No one has earned it more than me. [Amy clears her throat] You have your whole life to smack him around. This is my time.

Sheldon: It's happening! [phone chimes] Unknown caller. It's got to be them.
Amy: Okay, put it on speaker.
Sheldon: Hello?
Amy: Hi.
Barry Kripke: Hello. This is Sweden calling. Is this Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler?
Sheldon: Yes.
Amy: Yeah.
Barry Kripke: Congratulations. It is my pleasure to inform you that you've won the Nobel Prize in being suckers!

Amy: It's weird. I don't really feel different, but I guess our lives will never be the same.
Sheldon: Oh, I don't know. We're going to work like always. I still put my pants on both legs at a time.
Amy: One day that's gonna end very badly.

Leonard: Sheldon, that was really rude.
Sheldon: I'm sorry. Amy is the one constant I can count on, and now she's changing.
Leonard: It's just a haircut and some clothes.
Sheldon: No, it's the last straw! I can't take any more! [elevator bell dings]
Penny: Can you believe it? They finally fixed the elevator.

Sheldon: How did you get down here?
Penny: The elevator. It's really fast.
Sheldon: I-I need to be alone right now. Don't try to follow me.
Penny: All right. You need a ride?
Sheldon: That'd be great. Thank you.

Amy: I should've seen this coming.
Raj: Oh, stop. You're allowed to get a haircut.
Amy: I know. But I should've done it gradually. You know, like maybe 300 tiny haircuts over a ten-year period.

Leonard: Okay, you need to focus on the positive. You won a Nobel Prize. I slapped Sheldon. A lot of dreams came true today.

Penny: You know, you go on and on about wanting things to stay the same, but you've changed a lot since I met you.
Sheldon: Oh, you are a mean drunk.

Sheldon: Six times ten to the eighth atoms, Of a radium in a lead jar, Six times ten to the eighth atoms of radium, If the half-life of radium should happen to pass, Three times ten to the eighth atoms, Of a radium in a lead jar.
Penny: Really hope you're almost to zero.
Sheldon: No, see, that's the beauty of half-lives: it's impossible to determine when you'll arrive at zero. It's like "Wheels on the Bus" if the bus had an unknowable number of parts.

Penny: Sheldon?
Sheldon: Mm, absolutely not, no. The Nobel committee will be making the calls to inform the winners at any minute, so the only drug I need is the endorphins pumping through my brain in anticipation of our victory.
Amy: Well, technically, anticipation wouldn't be mediated by endorphins as much as dopamine, but, you know, you've been up all night, so I'll give you that one. [Amy looks and sees Sheldon is asleep] Really? The second he stops talking?

Penny: All right, now what?
Sheldon: Oh, why don't we play a game to pass the time? Here. Uh, I am thinking of a number. Hint: it's a cube of a cube of a prime.
Leonard: There's an infinite number of possibilities.
Sheldon: What, you got somewhere to be?

Sheldon: It's a congratulations text from my meemaw. [phone vibrates] Ooh. Oh, and there's one from my mom. [phone vibrates] And my sister. [phone vibrates] Oh, and my brother. [phone vibrates] And my brother's ex-wife. [phone vibrates] My brother's other ex-wife. Boy, they don't tell you when you win a Nobel it chews up your phone battery.

President Siebert: Hey, fellas. Can you do me a favor?
Raj: Do we have a choice?
President Siebert: Ha-ha! No. Sheldon and Amy are now officially superstars, and the press will be reaching out to their family and friends for comment.
So that we're all on the same page, the word we're gonna use to describe them is "quirky." And not quirky. More like quirky.
Howard: So not Mr. and Mrs. Wackadoodle?
President Siebert: Ho-ho-ho! You bitter, envious little man.