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Quotes from ‘The Separation Oscillation’
The Separation Oscillation As Leonard and Penny struggle with the revelation he kissed another woman, Leonard goes to meet the woman in question, Mandy, in a bid to show Penny there's nothing to worry about. Meanwhile, Sheldon films an episode of Fun with Flags alone following his break-up with Amy, who is angered by Sheldon's thinly veiled comments about their recent split. |
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Thankfully all the things my girlfriend used to do can be taken care of with my right hand.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Hello.
Leonard: Hey, buddy, can we have some privacy?
Sheldon: Of course. Wouldn't want to intrude. (takes red bra out of his pocket and hands it to Penny) This is yours.
Penny: Okay, when I'm done with him, I'm gonna need more information.
Sheldon: Nothing odd. I just wanted to rub Amy's nose in it.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: I'm not being weird. Am I being weird?
Sheldon: Yes. And that's coming from me.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy: I've seen and talked to you more in the two days we've been broken up than in the last two months we were together.
Sheldon: Well, if you want to see less of me, maybe we should go out again.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: She watched it. I'm gonna get that girl back.
Amy: I only watched it because you emailed it to me with the subject line "This is gonna make you mad."
Sheldon: She was listening through the door. She wants me.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Hello, I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper, and welcome to Sheldon Cooper presents Fun with Flags. You may notice that I'm holding a remote control. That's because my camera person and co-host, Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, has chosen to end her relationship with me.
I'm going to pause here to let that sink in.
Okay. If you need to pause a little longer, just click the pause button.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: And then the Czech Republic says to Slovakia, I don't think you understand how being broken up works.
Can you believe that? You'd think the Czech Republic would try to hold on to what it did, given it's not as young as it used to be. And I don't see any other countries lining up to invade its southern borders.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy: Whose bra is this?
Sheldon: It's not yours? Oh, my. How embarrassing for both of us.
Amy: It's Penny's.
Sheldon: Hey. You broke up with me, it's none of your business whose naked bosom I'm smushing around like pizza dough.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: I understand that we are no longer a couple, but I'd like to remind you that we made a baby together.
Amy: What baby?
Sheldon: A precocious, little Internet show known as Fun with Flags.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy: My old scarf.
Sheldon: You wore it the night we went ice skating, remember?
Amy: You mean the night that I went ice skating and you stood at the rail Googling the symptoms of hypothermia.
Sheldon: We made one heck of a team, huh?
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: I wonder if that's why I have such a dysfunctional relationship with Sheldon. I had a dream the other night that I was in a cave, and I was nursing a baby. But the baby had Sheldon's head on it.
Mandy: And your wife is worried about me?
Quote from Amy
Amy: How dare you go on the Internet and say mean things about me, and compare my genitalia to part of Czechoslovakia.
Quote from Leonard
Mandy: Maybe you should talk to a therapist about this.
Leonard: Too expensive.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: Well, how about we stop being so scared of losing each other, and just be together?
Penny: That sounds nice.
Leonard: Good. I've loved you from the moment we met and I will keep loving you until the end of time.
Penny: Oh my God, that is the most beautiful thing anyone's ever said to me.
Leonard: Yeah? That's because you're beautiful, and your beauty fills my heart with love and song.
Penny: Getting kind of cheesy, Leonard.
Leonard: You think that's cheesy? Buckle up.
(Leonard gets down on one knee)
Leonard: Penny Hofstadter, will you please stay married to me?
Penny: Oh dammit, you topped it.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy: Sheldon, I am not doing Fun with Flags with you.
Sheldon: Why not?
Amy: Because we're broken up!
Sheldon: Sonny and Cher made it work. Their variety show kept going long after the divorce, and here we are still talking about them.
Amy: No one's talking about Sonny and Cher.
Sheldon: You must be thinking about Donny and Marie, because you and I are clearly talking about Sonny and Cher.
Quote from Leonard
Penny: Look, I'm sorry I said I was okay with everything before we got married. I hate that we're going through this, but I don't know what to do.
Leonard: If you don't mind waiting for a Groupon, we can try marriage counselling.
Quote from Bernadette
Penny: What do you think?
Bernadette: I don't know what to think, but then I just found out about it.
Quote from Bernadette
Penny: Am I being naive?
Bernadette: I don't know. This is all so new to me. I'm still processing.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: But enough about the Czech Republic. Let's talk about the time Moldova made Romania a birthday cake, and Romania said it tasted good even though it didn't, and yet Romania got dumped. I'll pause here while you mull that one over. I know, right?
Quote from Penny
Leonard: Do you remember when you accused me of trying to sabotage our wedding?
Penny: Uh-huh.
Leonard: I've been thinking about it and you might be right. But the good news is I'm pretty sure I know why.
Penny: I'm listening.
Leonard: Penny, after all these years I still feel like maybe I don't deserve you.
Penny: Okay, that is the lamest excuse you could have possibly come up. But I get it.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Tonight's theme: Flags of countries that have been torn apart, and the women I have a feeling were responsible.
Quote from Bernadette
Bernadette: If you think about it, without you he never would have grown into the person he is now. I mean sure, more women may notice him, but I think it's better to have a guy be with you because he wants to be, and not because he doesn't think he has any other choice.
Penny: I never thought about it like that.
Bernadette: Me neither. Not until just now.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: Why are you up?
Leonard: How am I supposed to sleep? I've been married less than twenty-four hours and my wife isn't speaking to me.
Sheldon: Perhaps you can think of this in a more positive light. In one day, you've managed to do what it takes many couples decades to achieve.
Quote from Sheldon
Amy: What are you doing here?
Sheldon: I'm here to return your belongings. That's what people who've broken up do.
Amy: And you didn't do your compulsive knocking ritual so I'd open the door?
Sheldon: On the contrary, you no longer get to enjoy my charming eccentricities. We're not friends with benefits.
Quote from Leonard
Sheldon: Forgive me for eavesdropping, but as I see it there's a simple solution.
Leonard: Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: Well, I got married recently.
Mandy: Oh, congratulations. To Sheldon?
Leonard: Ah, ha, never gets old.
Quote from Howard
Howard: And I wish Leonard never told me. He's the bad guy here.
Bernadette: I guess that's true.
Howard: And you let Penny marry him. Compared to that, who cares if I bought a George Clooney limited edition Manscaping kit.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: Hi, I'm calling about your marriage counselling services and I was curious what your rate is.
Really?
Uhm, okay, is there any kind of discount for length of marriage? We're talking hours here.
Quote from Sheldon
Leonard: How many times do I have to tell you, I have no interest in this woman.
Penny: Yeah, well maybe she has interest in you.
Sheldon: In Leonard? Oh, even the Sparkletts guy could see that's unlikely.
Quote from Howard
Bernadette: Hands off. I'm mad at you.
Howard: Look, I know it's a lot of money, but the guy at the store said in five to seven years it'll pay for itself.
Bernadette: What will pay for itself?
Howard: Doesn't matter. What are you mad about?
Quote from Howard
Leonard: That's not helpful.
Howard: Then I won't say I'd like to cover three quarters of her surface area.
Quote from Raj
Howard: Why are marine biologists always so cute?
Raj: I don't know, but I'd like to get lost in her Bermuda triangle.
Quote from Sheldon
Penny: You couldn't sleep either?
Leonard: Of course not.
Sheldon: Me neither. But I just had a tickle in my throat. Not profound marital problems.
Quote from Leonard
Leonard: You'd think I'd be used to women withholding their love. My mother did. No matter how hard I tried, she just didn't have any interest in me.
Mandy: Imagine that.
Quote from Raj
Leonard: Are we done?
Raj: Not yet. This is fun.
Ooh, I know. I'd let her free my willy.
Quote from Raj
Raj: I can't believe you made out with Mandy Chow.
Leonard: Oh, trust me I wish it never happened.
Raj: And you knew about this the whole time?
Howard: I did.
Raj: And you didn't think to tell me?
Howard: Leonard asked me to keep it to myself.
Raj: Let's leave Leonard out of this for the moment. This is about you and me.
Quote from Howard
Leonard: How is my day-old marriage falling apart becoming about you two?
Raj: Hang on. (To Howard) What do I need to do to make you trust me?
Howard: You think it's hard having one wife? Try having two!
Quote from Howard
Howard: Leonard, wait.
Leonard: What?
Howard: I'd like to Spongebob her Squarepants.
Raj: Now we are done.
Quote from Raj
Raj: Hey, Leonard. When you're done, we came up with a bunch more.
Quote from Howard
Howard: And you have every right to be mad about those things, so why don't you let me handle the credit card bill for this month? Don't even look at it.
Quote from Penny
Penny: Sometimes I worry you're going to wake up and leave me for someone more like you.
Leonard: I don't even understand why you're with someone like me. Why would I want to be with someone like me?
Penny: You know what I mean. And maybe the way I've been reacting was me sabotaging this, too.
Quote from Sheldon
Sheldon: The way I see it, there's a simple solution. Your lips had a dalliance with the lips of another woman. It seems only logical that to restore balance to the relationship, you should find another man and dally with him. And by dally, I mean some hardcore mouth-on-mouth action.
Quote from Penny
Penny: Sheldon, I can't believe you got us a wedding gift.
Sheldon: I don't know why you're so surprised. I watch movies. I see what people do.
Leonard: What is this?
Sheldon: Plane tickets and hotel reservations for a weekend away in San Francisco.
Penny: That is so great!
Sheldon: Yeah, there's fisherman's wharf, and Alcatraz, and cable cars. We're gonna have so much fun.
Penny: We?
Sheldon: Is there a problem?
Penny: Uh, no, no. I just said "Weeee!"