Howard: What are you doing? You have a girlfriend.
Raj: So?
Howard: So, how do you think she'd feel about you helping a beautiful girl with her screenplay?
Raj: I wouldn't say she's beautiful.
Howard: Really? You don't think she's attractive?
Raj: I do. I just wouldn't tell my girlfriend.

Penny: Constance, are you sure I can't pour you some wine?
Meemaw: Oh, no wine for me. Sheldon's bringing me my whiskey.
Sheldon: Here you go, Meemaw. I made it just how you like - a lot in a glass.

Meemaw: So, Penny, I understand you have a new job.
Penny: Yes, I'm a pharmaceutical sales rep.
Meemaw: Oh. It's so wonderful that you modern gals can have it all. A husband and a full-time career.
Amy: I have a relationship and a full-time career, too.
Meemaw: That doesn't bode well.
Amy: Why not? You just said it's okay for her to work.
Meemaw: Well, Leonard doesn't need as much tending to as Sheldon does. And as Moonpie explained, Leonard's work is more of a hobby.
Leonard: That's my best friend.

Sheldon: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You have to like each other. Well, we have a 4:30 reservation at Applebee's.
Amy: I think I should leave.
Sheldon: But why? Other than you two fighting, we're having such a good time.

Meemaw: Let her go. And under no circumstance will you give her that engagement ring.
Amy: What ring?
Leonard: Maybe we should give them some privacy.
Penny: Yeah, yeah, yeah. You go ahead. I'll catch up with you.

Raj: Hey, it's not my fault if American women project their fantasies on foreigners with the kind of magical voice that grants wishes.

Penny: Wow. The last time I saw my grandma, the most exciting thing was watching the ash of her cigarette get longer and wondering if it was gonna fall in her pudding.
Leonard: Did it?
Penny: Yeah, right in there. She ate it and everything.

Raj: All right. I've made up my mind. I'm gonna do the right thing, call this girl, and let her know that I'm in a relationship.
Howard: Okay, so far we've heard, "Made up my mind, I'm dumping Emily."
Bernadette: "Made up my mind to date both of them by pretending to be twin brothers."
Howard: And "Made up my mind, 'll ask for a threesome and if they say no, play it off as a joke."
Raj: I'm calling her. And the threesome didn't deserve the belly laugh it got.
Bernadette: You're right. It could totally happen. (laughing)

Meemaw: Fine. If you feel so strongly, I won't stand in your way.
Sheldon: Thank you.
Amy: So if he wanted to give me that engagement ring, we would have your blessing?
Meemaw: I suppose.
(Amy rub's Sheldon's shoulder and smiles)
Sheldon: I just gave you my virginity, woman. Cool your jets!

Sheldon: Uh, Meemaw, this is Leonard. Leonard, this is my Meemaw.
Leonard: Hi. So nice to finally meet you. Let me take this for you, Meemaw.
Meemaw: Thank you.
Sheldon: No. Now you call her Constance. I call her Meemaw. You have your own Meemaw.
It's not my fault she died when you were four.
Meemaw: Is that nice to say to your friend?
Sheldon: It isn't, Meemaw. Sorry, Leonard.
Leonard: Can you please live with us forever?

Sheldon: There's Amy. I just know you're gonna hit it off. You both have the same fashion sense.

Sheldon: Here's a fun Postal fact. Yeah, the inner side of our mailbox is under federal jurisdiction. So, if you broke my right thumb, that's Pasadena city police. But if you broke my left thumb, that's the FBI.
Leonard: If I'm going to jail, I'm killing him, not breaking his thumb.

Penny: Yeah, the last time I got a hand written letter, it was from someone who told me I parked like a blind person.
Leonard: That someone has a name.
Sheldon: Uh, thank you.

Meemaw: Sheldon, tell this girl that my ring will never be on her finger.
Sheldon: Yeah, I'm gonna opt out of that one, too.

Sheldon: I always looked up to you and Pop-Pop. I know what a challenging man he could be, but I saw you stand by him and make him into a better person.
Meemaw: I did.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, that is exactly what I've been doing the last five years with this little work in progress.
Leonard: He never disappoints, does he?