Sheldon: Stuart, what are you doing here?
Stuart: Sheldon, you are the most inconsiderate person I have ever met in my entire life. Where do you get off sending me to shop with your girlfriend?
Sheldon: I don't understand. You were happy to do this when I hired you. Why are you upset with me now?
Stuart: Oh, I'm not upset with you. But Amy's pretty bent out of shape, so she hired me to let you have it.
Sheldon: Well, I suppose turnabout is fair play.
Stuart: You're darn right it's fair play, you selfish jerk.

Penny: You know, she's my mother-in-law. Why can't I bond with her like that?
Bernadette: Amy's with Sheldon, who she loves like a son. You're with her son, who she doesn't.

Amy: Do you realize it took me five years to get a massage from him?
Beverly: Oh, well, that still could be a big step for Sheldon.
Amy: Three minutes. And he used a kitchen timer. I felt like a soft-boiled egg.

Howard: You look like you come with a kickstand.
Raj: You can't make me feel bad.
Howard: Hmm, maybe not. Leonard?
Leonard: So, when the aliens brought you back, they just left the probe in?

Sheldon: Did you see that? He just cut the line.
Leonard: He's just joining his friends; it's fine.
Sheldon: No, it's not fine. It is a breach of line etiquette.
Howard: We're near the front of the line. We'll get in either way.
Sheldon: What if every person in front of us let someone cut?
Leonard: We'd still get in.
Sheldon: What if each of those people let someone cut?
Leonard: Still get in.
Sheldon: But then each of those people let someone cut?
Leonard: We'd still get in, but first I'd hit you over the head with his stick chair.

Guy: Is this guy for real?
Leonard: Boy, I wish I could say no.

Sheldon: Excuse me, excuse me, can I please see a show of hands? Who here takes issue with this person cutting the line?
Guy: Told you.
Sheldon: Well, what a sad state of affairs. That you've all been so ground down by life, you don't even notice when someone disrespects you.
Howard: I can't believe we're gonna get beat up, and it's not because of your chair.

Penny: Fine, if you really want me to, I will pick your mom up.
Leonard: Seriously?
Penny: Yeah, you know what, she is my mother-in-law and I'd like for us to have a good relationship.
Leonard: That is very mature of you. So I'm gonna go ahead and say, suckah.

Sheldon: All right, back to learning.
Penny: Okay.
Sheldon: Oh, easy. Bill Nye the Science Guy.
Penny: Or as I know him?
Sheldon: Creepy old dude from Dancing with the Stars.
Penny: Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

Sheldon: Now, let's follow in that brave woman's footsteps, and stand up for ourselves. And, and I realize that she stood up by remaining seated, but now is not the time to enjoy the irony of that. Now, I ask you again. Who here takes issue with this person?
Woman: Why should we listen to you? You cut the line yourself.
Sheldon: I most certainly did not.
Woman: I saw you.
Guy: If you're feeling dizzy, it's because the tables have turned.
Sheldon: Excuse me, I paid someone to wait in line for me, and then when I arrived, he left, so what you saw, my good woman, was swapsies, not cutsies.

Penny: You really think we made a mistake?
Beverly: At the time I did. But I've never seen Leonard so happy, so perhaps I was wrong.

Leonard: What are you guys doing?
Sheldon: Oh, well, we decided to use our breakfast time to expand our respective knowledge bases.
Leonard: Oh, let me try.
Penny: Okay.
Leonard: Hmm. Atom of hydrogen. Adam of Maroon 5. Mic drop.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, who is Mike Drop?

Sheldon: You're really going without me?
Leonard: It's not a big deal. Go shopping with Amy, and we'll save a spot in line for you.
Sheldon: You don't have the authority to save places in the line. If I do that, I'll be cutting.
Leonard: People do it all the time.
Sheldon: You know the golden rule of line etiquette. No cuts, no buts, no coconuts.

Penny: Wow. Didn't even make it out of the parking lot. Uh, you know what, enough about Leonard. Let's talk about you. What would you like to do while you're here?
Beverly: Dear, I'm a psychiatrist. You don't have to avoid having intimate conversations with me.
Penny: Well, I'd actually like for us to be close, but maybe we start with our favourite books and work our way up to my husband's sex organs.
Beverly: Very well. What's the last book you read?
Penny: Um, does Pottery Barn, Spring count?

Amy: I'm sorry, I've been going on and on.
Beverly: Oh, it's all right, dear. Sheldon has a brilliant and complicated mind. It's understandable that being in a relationship with him could be trying.
Amy: I called him babe once. He asked me to get a drug test.