Bernadette: [To the hot bartender] Do you do body shots?
Penny: Oh, she said she didn't want one.
Bernadette: Mind your business.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Sheldon: *knock knock knock* Dr. Wolcott? *knock knock knock* Dr. Wolcott? *knock knock knock* Dr. Wolcott? [sound of many locks clacking]
Howard: That's a lot of locks.
Leonard: Mm. That was a lot of knocks, they were made for each other.

Sheldon: Well, of course I'm worried about you, I want you to be safe.
Amy: And I want you to be safe.
Sheldon: I will be. I'll have my friends with me. If anything should go wrong, I can use them as human shields.

Sheldon: Do you really know how to Riverdance?
Amy: You tell me.
Sheldon: I'm the only man you do that for.