Bernadette: You ready to go?
Howard: Yeah, let me just grab a couple of fresh turtlenecks.
Bernadette: I don't understand why you keep your stuff here when there's plenty of room at home.
Howard: What are you talking about? All I have here is a few sweaters, books, bank stuff, computers, mail, collectibles, medicine and my electric body groomer. Ooh, there's my plaid dickie. Oh, got this at the Goodwill store for 50 cents. Can you believe it?
Bernadette: 50 cents sounds right.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Mrs. Wolowitz: Howard, help, my hand's stuck in the garbage disposal.
Howard: Let go of whatever piece of food you're holding.
Mrs. Wolowitz: Are you kidding? It's a perfectly good chicken leg.

Amy: And action.
Wil Wheaton: And cut! You realize I'm doing this for free, right?
Amy: Yes, and so far we're still not getting our money's worth.

Wil Wheaton: Problem, first time director?