Sheldon: My brother.
Amy: Wait a minute. You didn't invite your brother to your own wedding?
Sheldon: He tormented me my whole childhood. I don't think I should reward that type of behavior with a slice of wedding cake in the shape of the Millennium Falcon.
Amy: Try again.
Sheldon: A slice of wedding cake in the shape of a cake.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Georgie: After all my sacrifices, guess which kid my mom is the most proud of?
Leonard: If it makes you feel any better, my mom's most proud of Sheldon, too.

Georgie: You went away to college after Dad died. Who do you think took care of everything?
Sheldon: Mom did. Mom always took care of everything.
Georgie: Mom was a mess, Missy was a dumb teenager. I had to look after both of 'em.
Sheldon: I talked to Mom all the time. If she was upset, she would have told me.
Georgie: She was protecting you, you idiot, just like everyone always does.
Sheldon: If things were bad, then why didn't you tell me?
Georgie: Because I was protecting you, too. (sighs) You're my baby brother, Sheldon. I know life has been hard for you, but that don't mean it's been easy for the rest of us.

Georgie: Leonard, you know how I got the money to open up my first store? I busted my ass for it, 'cause all the extra money that we had had to go to Sheldon so he could go to college and he could go study in Germany. And do you know what he's never said to me?
Leonard: Danke schon? It's, uh, "thank you" in German.
Georgie: Do you need me to sit on your head?
Leonard: Nope.