Priya: What happened?
Bernadette: Howard's mother had a heart attack because I have sex with him and she can't.

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Bernadette: Gosh, Amy. I'm sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon's work, your sex life is also theoretical?

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Howard: Hell hound.
Raj: Who let the satanic dogs out?

Sheldon: Oh, what fresh hell is this?
Biosuit Nurse: Wait, you can't leave here, you've been exposed.
Sheldon: (Covering his face with his shirt) No, I haven't. It's all good.

Raj: Sheldon, that's my water.
Sheldon: Oh, dear Lord!
Leonard: That's not your water.
Raj: I know.