Bernadette: You can't just throw everything in the closet.
Howard: Hey, you can tell me what to do and how to do it, but not both at the same time. This isn't sex.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Bernadette: I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big but it's not worth it.

Sheldon: Did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Sheldon: What can I do for you ladies?
Amy: You have something we want.
Sheldon: Oh, dear. My mother warned me this is what happens to pretty boys in the big city.
Penny: No, we just want information.
Sheldon: Oh. I've got that spades. Ravage me.