Bernadette: I told you you shouldn't have espresso after dinner. I know the little cups make you feel big but it's not worth it.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Sheldon: What can I do for you ladies?
Amy: You have something we want.
Sheldon: Oh, dear. My mother warned me this is what happens to pretty boys in the big city.
Penny: No, we just want information.
Sheldon: Oh. I've got that spades. Ravage me.

Sheldon: Did you also have a dog? Because I found what appears to be a battery-operated chew toy.
Penny: Party's over. Party's over.

Howard: It's ridiculous that we still have to walk up all these stairs.
Bernadette: Yeah, try doing it in heels.
Howard: I am.