Sheldon: Where's my lemonade?
Penny: I didn't get it.
Sheldon: A fitting swan song to your career as a waitress to forget my order one last time.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Penny: Thank you, I needed to hear that. Why can't Leonard understand it?
Sheldon: Because he's not like us, Penny. We're dreamers!
Penny: Yeah, I need to start cracking the window when I leave you in the car.

Bernadette: Hey, Stuart.
Stuart: *startled* Hey.
Bernadette: Sorry, did I startle you?
Stuart: Yes, but at this point pretty much any customer does.

Jesse: You're back.
Bernadette: *Angry voice* Yes, I am. There's a few more things I want to say to you. Stuart's store is just fine. And he's a much nicer person than you are. And if you still have that comic I'd like to buy it right now.
Jesse: No problem. Want a latte while you wait?
Bernadette: No, I don't want a latte. I want a cappuccino and a blueberry scone.
Jesse: I only have chocolate chip.
Bernadette: Well that sounds even better!