Howard: My cousin has a cabin out in the woods.
Sheldon: I'm not going to a cabin in the woods. Did you see the movie "Cabin in the Woods?"
Leonard: Fine, we'll go to a hotel.
Sheldon: A hotel? Did you see "The Shining"?
Raj: We could go up to Big Bear and get a house on the lake.
Sheldon: Did you see "The Lake House"?
Raj: Nothing bad happens in "The Lake House"!
Sheldon: Not to them. To me. Time travelling mail box. The only time that travels was the hour and a half of my life down the toilet.
Leonard: Fine, we'll just stay here and do it.
Sheldon: Wait, you didn't suggest a beach house.
Leonard: You would go to a beach house?
Sheldon: Well, good Lord no. Have you seen "Jaws"?

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Amy: But enough about Penny, let's talk about us. We're looking good.
Bernadette: We are.
Amy: Better than good. I mean look at you, your body's bangin'.
Bernadette: Amy!
Amy: Don't Amy me. We're always talking about how hot Penny is. Come on, scientist to scientist, how big are those hadron colliders?

Sheldon: I know the real reason you never made progress with that idea. You thought of it September 22nd, 2007. Two days later, Penny moved in and so much blood rushed to your genitals, your brain became a ghost town.

Bernadette: Guess who won a hundred dollars playing craps?
Penny: That's a dollar.
Bernadette: Guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress?