Amy: She always this crabby when she urinates?
Bernadette: We're really not that close.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Raj: She didn't even get to see my penis.

Penny: I'm sorry, shoes, but you have to go back.
Shoebox (Penny): But, Penny, we love you.
Penny: I love you, too, but you cost more than my rent.
Shoebox (Penny): But Penny, you look so good in us.
Penny: (To Amy) Damn it, the shoes are right!

Sheldon: Red is angry, yellow is frightened, green is jealous and blue is depressed. Perhaps we can assign a color to lonely.
Raj: Nothing rhymes with orange. Its probably lonely.
Sheldon: All right. Come in. You look positively orange with loneliness. No, I dont see that catching on at all.