Howard: Yes, to be fair, do people who went to Princeton get a head start?
Leonard: It's not funny.
Sheldon: No. Oh, it actually is if you get the joke. It's based on the premise that Princeton isn't a very good school.
Leonard: Ha-ha.
Sheldon: Oh, see, now he gets it.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Penny: [to Raj] Run to India.

Amy: As my mom used to say, "When you're doing a puzzle, it's like you've got a thousand friends." She was full of fun lies like that.

Sheldon: My brain is better than everybody's!