Bernadette: What should we do?
Howard: I'll tell you exactly what we're gonna do. We're gonna eat it.
Bernadette: There's like twenty-pounds of food in there.
Howard: All you said was, I had to get rid of things. You didn't say they couldn't pass through my colon first.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: So you can never take it (the sweater) off?
Leonard: No.
Raj: Not even to sleep?
Leonard: No.
Howard: So you're just an idiot?
Leonard: It's called proving a point.
Howard: Is the point you're an idiot?

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a fork lift?

Penny: I mean, who even reads Scientific American?
Leonard: It's kind of a big deal.
Penny: If it's such a big deal, how come the biggest celebrity they could get for the cover is a molecule?

Penny: Wow, it looks really pretty in here.
Stuart: Yeah, turns out half a dozen Menorahs really sets a mood.

Sheldon: Is it my fault I have a much bigger reputation than he does?
Amy: It's not your fault.
Sheldon: Is it my fault that my name came first on the paper alphabetically?
Amy: Not your fault.
Sheldon: Is it my fault that when the reporter cited me as the lead scientist, I didn't correct him?
Amy: Hey look at that pretty bird.