Bernadette: Don't listen to him. All she's got is a serve. Now grab a fresh tampon and put her away.

Bernadette: You better find my husband's mother, 'cause one way or another we're walking out of this airport with a dead woman.

Bernadette: (Shouting from the bathroom) How many times do I have to tell you to replace the toilet paper when it's empty?
Howard: I'm in the middle of something.
Bernadette: So am I!

Howard: I'm sorry I didn't take you to the airport. I just want you to know I'll never forgive myself for being so selfish. And I promise to keep you close for the rest of my life.
Bernadette: Oh, no, that thing's gonna end up in my bedroom.

Amy: Have you made a decision about the TARDIS? I think I can sell it if we call it Big British Portapotty.

Sheldon: Amy, the Daleks are right on my tail. Quick, we need to reset the time circuits. Oh no, I left my Sonic Screwdriver behind.
Amy: Really should have thought this through.

Howard: Come on, one day this may double in value and be worth half what I paid for it!