Mrs. Koothrappali: I'll sleep so much better when you move back here next month.
Leonard: You're moving back to India?
Dr. Koothrappali: Who's that?
Mrs. Koothrappali: Oh my God! There's someone in your apartment. Call the police in America!

Dr. Koothrappali: Well, if you're not coming out, why did you call us during the cricket semi-finals?
Raj: 'Cause I, I'm tired of trying to meet someone and, I think I'd like you to help me find uh, a wife.
Mrs. Koothrappali: And just to clarify, a female wife?

Mrs. Koothrappali: Please tell me you're not dating an American. I knew this would happen. Rajesh, are you letting your sister date that little Howard boy?

Raj: Hello, mommy.
Mrs.Koothrappali: Hello, Rajesh. What a nice surprise.
Raj: Well, I've been thinking about you. Are you happy, mommy?
Mrs.Koothrappali: Such a sweet boy for asking. I can't believe you come from the poison seed of your father.

Penny: What do you mean new roommate? What happened to Leonard?
Sheldon: The same thing that happened to Homo Erectus. He was replaced by a superior species.
Raj: I'm the new homo in town.

Penny: So that means, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor, you're a doctor and, Howard, you know a lot of doctors.

Sheldon: Here's an interesting fact about alcohol: Man is not the only species that ferments fruit in order to become intoxicated. Can you guess what the other is? Hint: sometimes they pack the alcohol in their trunks.
Penny: Monkeys.
Sheldon: When does a monkey have a trunk?
Penny: When a suitcase just won't do.