Mrs. Koothrappali: Please tell me you're not dating an American. I knew this would happen. Rajesh, are you letting your sister date that little Howard boy?

Dr. Koothrappali: Well, if you're not coming out, why did you call us during the cricket semi-finals?
Raj: 'Cause I, I'm tired of trying to meet someone and, I think I'd like you to help me find uh, a wife.
Mrs. Koothrappali: And just to clarify, a female wife?

Raj: Hello, mommy.
Mrs.Koothrappali: Hello, Rajesh. What a nice surprise.
Raj: Well, I've been thinking about you. Are you happy, mommy?
Mrs.Koothrappali: Such a sweet boy for asking. I can't believe you come from the poison seed of your father.

Raj: Hello, Mummy. Hello, Daddy. How are you?
Mrs. Koothrappali: We're very rich in a very poor country. So, all in all, can't complain.

Raj: Shut your ass!

Raj: It's amazing what liquor does to guilt.

Sheldon: If you don't mind, I'd like to stop listening to you and start talking.