Wolowitz: Whaddup science bitches?

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Howard: I invented a game. Want to play?
Leonard: Sure.
Howard: It's called Emily or Cinnamon. I give you actual quotes I've heard Raj say, and you guess if he was talking to his girlfriend or his dog.

Bernadette: Does your mother call you every day at work to see if you had a healthy lunch?
Howard: My mother calls me every day at work to see if I had a healthy bowel movement.

Mary: He gets his temper from his daddy.
Leonard: Ah.
Mary: He's got my eyes.
Leonard: I see.
Mary: All that science stuff, that comes from Jesus.

Mary Cooper: I'm sorry, did I start that sentence with the words, "If it pleases your highness?"

Sheldon: I read an article about Japanese scientists who inserted DNA from luminous jelly fish into other animals; and I thought "Hey! Fish night-lights".
Leonard: Fish night-lights.
Sheldon: It's a billion dollar idea, ssh!