Mike: Hey, Froot Loops, want to hit your fan switch?
Howard: Check.
Dimitri: He calls you Froot Loops because of your very gay haircut?
Howard: No, it's 'cause I live with my mom and she makes me Froot Loops.
Dimitri: Go with gay story, people are more accepting of that.

Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?
Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.

Bernadette: Maybe we should get one of those machines to help her up the stairs.
Howard: You mean a forklift?

Sheldon: Sheldon Cooper does not cry.
Howard: That's true, you'd rust.

Amy: Bernadette, I want to thank you for allowing me to be your maid of honor. I also want you to know that I will be happy to do it again if this marriage craps out.

Sheldon: Would you like some aloe vera? 'cause you just got burned.

Amy: Stop it! Today is not about you, it's about Howard and Bernadette, and me!