Leonard: Sheldon, I need to talk to you.
Sheldon: All right, my friend. Would you like some cholermues?
Leonard: Some what?
Sheldon: Cholermues. It's a traditional Swiss breakfast dish. I'm preparing my gastrointestinal system for the exotic cuisine of Switzerland.
Leonard: You're not going to Switzerland!
Sheldon: Oh, but I am. Didn't Penny tell you the good news?
Leonard: She told me that you went behind my back to guilt her into letting you go instead of her.
Sheldon: Yes, that good news.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Leonard: What would you guys do if you were me?
Wolowitz: I would take Sheldon to Switzerland.
Leonard: Seriously?
Wolowitz: Absolutely. And I'd leave him there.

Sheldon: It was you. I touched you!
Penny: Happy Valentine's Day.

Penny: I think I caught the flu. *Throwing up*. Or the plague!