Raj: Bernadette, remember, your character's the healer in our group. You're in charge of healing all of us, not just Howard.
Bernadette: I can't help it. My Howie Wowie has an owie.

Bernadette: I had a plan. I kept leaving Dove bar wrappers around to explain any weight gain.
Amy: Where did you get empty Dove bar wrappers?
Bernadette: From all the Dove bars I ate! I'm pregnant! Try to keep up!

Stuart: Oh, so she's good enough for Howard but not for me?
Howard: Yeah.
Bernadette: Yeah. Go have weird relationships with your own mother and cousin. This is his turf.

Leonard: You don't go into science for the money.
Bernadette: Speak for yourself. Last month my company both invented and cured restless eye syndrome. Ka-ching, ya blinky chumps!

Raj: But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

Leonard: We'll miss you Sheldon.
Sheldon: Yeah, well, who wants to spend the whole weekend, running around a bunch of pretend planets, battling made up monsters? That's for babies.
Howard: Yeah, but it's got lightsabers.
Sheldon: Please, Amy! It's got lightsabers!

Howard: Look, if you don't want to go to the party, just don't go. You're a grown man. Act like one. Tell Amy you want to spend the weekend having a sleepover and playing video games with your friends!