Sheldon: Oh, Penny. Penny.
Penny: What's up?
Sheldon: Nothing. I just wanted to make Raj stop talking.

Raj: I don't like bugs, okay. They freak me out.
Sheldon: Interesting. You're afraid of insects and women. Ladybugs must render you catatonic.

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Sheldon: Why are you crying?
Penny: Because I'm stupid.
Sheldon: That's no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.

Leonard: Sometimes your movements are so lifelike I forget you are not a real boy.

Raj: Oh, you're so arrogant. If you were a super hero your name would be Captain Arrogant. And do you know what your super power would be? Arrogance.

Raj: Sorry, dude. The thermostat's on my side of the room, so it stays Mumbai hot in here until you turn off that stupid Indian music.
Sheldon: I'll turn off the music when you get rid of that salmonella-ridden parakeet.
Raj: Oh, too bad. Sheldon's pathologically afraid of birds. Hey, look, Sheldon. Birdie, birdie, birdie.
Sheldon: That's it. Prepare for marshmallow death.
Raj: Eat flaming Nerf.